I'm listening to Adele's Hometown Glory and it feels like my song tonight. It was a beautiful warm day and I spent it painting the back of the house - it was actually interesting because for the first time in a long time I didn't mind listening to the birds and thinking my thoughts. Thinking didn't stress me out. It was great.
My biggest immediate problem is currently whether to buy a moisturiser with self tanner or to buy a regular one PLUS self tanner. Also that my wardrobe is incredibly poorly suited to American climes! I'm just now realising that heading to work this summer will involve lots of sweating so I'm trying to buy clothes that won't touch me at all - no easy feat! I'm liking this 'all sorts of lonesome' that I'm going through because I'm really enjoying my own company. I like taking the MARTA and watching people (because people are strange) and I like going to work because there are different, yet still strange, people.
Having this time to myself in nicer weather has meant that I've had time to plan things - I have now decided to host a dinner party/possible BBQ here at my house on September 20th. You are invited. As are various other Londoners and people I know who have long harboured a desire to see America. It can be the reason for your trip or simply a pleasant dinner on your drive to more interesting places. You girls will obviously be invited to stay longer with me or in a lovely local B&B should you choose so. With the new Delta merger there is absolutely no reason not to find a flight - all airports lead to Atlanta lol
I'm prepared to receive all negative answers to my invitation but a part of me thinks it would be possible. A part of me also thinks my friends might want to enjoy some warm weather when weather in Europe starts to get shitty. And finally, a part of me likes to be really romantic and think that wonderfully fairytale-like dinner parties are possible.
Candles, Southern delicacies (no, we don't serve sheep's eyes or anything) and lots of wine. Let's see what happens.
In further news of my life, I too am trying to live life by the seat of its pants, take it as it comes. Of course, my life is going about the speed of my grandmother's wheelchair so it makes for a nice smooth ride. As I sit here typing I'm beginning to realise that while I may not be as brave as I would like to be, I'm learning what I can be. Maybe even who I want to be. Who knew that a few glasses of pinot grigio could spurn such philosophical meanderings each evening?
Meanwhile, I have bought two packs of cigarettes since returning from New York. Sigh. I love smoking out in the back yard after my mother has gone to sleep (no, she doesn't need to know) and looking at the stars.
I'm going to take my paint-covered self for a shower now - and then out for a cigarette. I haven't had one since Tuesday!
Bam - please post pictures. I have a frame ready for 'The One'.
Frenchie - I'll listen to Robbie in your honour.
Div - I can guarantee you that your downstairs neighbour really doesn't like you now. xx
Love you all.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Sexed up.
Ok, so i'm going to try and be really short, because I have a 'ma-ja' meeting in about an hour and a half that I'm not at all prepared for.
So, for those of you who don't know (ie Bam)I'm currently sort of dating a gorgeous 35 year old actor/playwright, who has a great sense of humour, is really smart, and generally quite nice and intelligent. You name it, he's mr Perfect.
Only he's a fucking romantic too (sending text messages and making phonecalls 10 times a day to wish me a good day, tell me the sun is shining... blah. He hasn't dared mentioning birds chipping -yet- but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even find it corny). Anyways, you know very well how annoying I find this, especially since I'm required to answer these messages otherwise he gets "desperate" (in his own words).
I decided nonetheless to have sex with him, because, well, he's gorgeous, and 35, so it can't go wrong, right? I'm supposed to see him tonight for that.
Only problem is that my sex cravings were entirely satisfied last night, by a guy who made me realise that there's something missing with old mr perfect, and that is... wait for it... butterflies. Yep, me, Frenchie, using such a mellow-corny word. uh-uh. Not that I'm in love with young-mr-hottie (the one I had sex with last night), but at least I felt.. dunno, that I really wanted him. And it also felt as though none of us were playing a game, which was nice too.
Suffice to say that I went to a bar last night (with about 20 friends of mine), spent half the night chatting with a great Brasilian guy (who happens to be dating one of my friends)about relationships and marriage and failure and drugs and god knows what, and I got really drunk. I then realised that this guy I had met at a birthday a month ago (we had spent the whole night talking and smoking cigarettes - literally until 7am - but nothing had happened) was there and kinda looking at me, so we talked until the bar closed. We got out, and he kissed me (which I thought would never happen as he looked like a rather 'shy' guy). He was walking me back to the taxi station when I decided to go have sex with him, just randomly, because I felt like it, instead of going home - and he wanted it too, I didn't push it.
So we went to his, had sex, then slept, had sex again, and then it was morning, I had slept 1h in the night and I had to go to work (so did he). Only we decided to take a very quick nap, I missed my alarm clock, and when I woke up it was 9am and I was late. I got dressed really quick, we kissed and I left. I didn't even ask for his number - neither did he by the way.
I'll see him again when I see him again, which probably means in another couple of months or so. I don't really care. I like him, but I'm not in a hurry. Somehow, I'm not desperate to be with someone, and I've decided to take a very philosophical approach to matters of life and love: whatever happens, happens when it happens. LOL
Mmm, and yeah, tiny problem, I missed my alarm because my phone ran out of battery, which means I can't call old-mr-perfect to re-schedule or tell him to go fuck himself. I'm supposed to see him straight after work, and obviously I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes (which, by the way, everybody noticed at work) and I didn't even fucking had a shower (didn't have time for that) but I'm craving one right now. So, there's no way I'm gonna have sex with him tonight lol.
Anyways, I've got to get bacK to work, will write more later..
hugs'n'kisses biatches
Frenchie
ps: I've got a MAJOR HANGOVER.
So, for those of you who don't know (ie Bam)I'm currently sort of dating a gorgeous 35 year old actor/playwright, who has a great sense of humour, is really smart, and generally quite nice and intelligent. You name it, he's mr Perfect.
Only he's a fucking romantic too (sending text messages and making phonecalls 10 times a day to wish me a good day, tell me the sun is shining... blah. He hasn't dared mentioning birds chipping -yet- but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even find it corny). Anyways, you know very well how annoying I find this, especially since I'm required to answer these messages otherwise he gets "desperate" (in his own words).
I decided nonetheless to have sex with him, because, well, he's gorgeous, and 35, so it can't go wrong, right? I'm supposed to see him tonight for that.
Only problem is that my sex cravings were entirely satisfied last night, by a guy who made me realise that there's something missing with old mr perfect, and that is... wait for it... butterflies. Yep, me, Frenchie, using such a mellow-corny word. uh-uh. Not that I'm in love with young-mr-hottie (the one I had sex with last night), but at least I felt.. dunno, that I really wanted him. And it also felt as though none of us were playing a game, which was nice too.
Suffice to say that I went to a bar last night (with about 20 friends of mine), spent half the night chatting with a great Brasilian guy (who happens to be dating one of my friends)about relationships and marriage and failure and drugs and god knows what, and I got really drunk. I then realised that this guy I had met at a birthday a month ago (we had spent the whole night talking and smoking cigarettes - literally until 7am - but nothing had happened) was there and kinda looking at me, so we talked until the bar closed. We got out, and he kissed me (which I thought would never happen as he looked like a rather 'shy' guy). He was walking me back to the taxi station when I decided to go have sex with him, just randomly, because I felt like it, instead of going home - and he wanted it too, I didn't push it.
So we went to his, had sex, then slept, had sex again, and then it was morning, I had slept 1h in the night and I had to go to work (so did he). Only we decided to take a very quick nap, I missed my alarm clock, and when I woke up it was 9am and I was late. I got dressed really quick, we kissed and I left. I didn't even ask for his number - neither did he by the way.
I'll see him again when I see him again, which probably means in another couple of months or so. I don't really care. I like him, but I'm not in a hurry. Somehow, I'm not desperate to be with someone, and I've decided to take a very philosophical approach to matters of life and love: whatever happens, happens when it happens. LOL
Mmm, and yeah, tiny problem, I missed my alarm because my phone ran out of battery, which means I can't call old-mr-perfect to re-schedule or tell him to go fuck himself. I'm supposed to see him straight after work, and obviously I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes (which, by the way, everybody noticed at work) and I didn't even fucking had a shower (didn't have time for that) but I'm craving one right now. So, there's no way I'm gonna have sex with him tonight lol.
Anyways, I've got to get bacK to work, will write more later..
hugs'n'kisses biatches
Frenchie
ps: I've got a MAJOR HANGOVER.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
on over-medication.
time, once more is running out on me. deadlines are approaching faster than i can get out of bed. so what else would i be doing right now, other than waiting for my new friend, the plumber, to come back from his lunch and continue drilling.
got a call yesterday from the guy at the gate saying that the ceiling underneath me has been ruined and there's a lot of water coming through. water underneath my bedroom floor. you know... pipes just get old and things need to be replaced and everyday life dealt with. so i'm dealing.
otherwise, i saw a photograph on facebook today, posted by H who i went out with on saturday. the photograph show me talking to the guy i very publicly made out with. didn't sleep with him though... was hairy, had my periods and couldn't generally be bothered. couldn't be bothered because despite the temporary sex-goddess in me that raised it's shiny and pretty head during the little vacation i had from being an emancipated single girl in london, my mojo and libido are pretty much down to minus 2000 again. am contemplating shaving my legs for the little 'drinks thing' tomorrow though. who know...perhaps i'll even survive the sex bit. it's a good thing H posted the photo because i for one was definitely not sure what A looked like. well, now i know.
i don't get lasting image-memories from reality these days. blame the medication. everything is a bit of a blur and it's hard to give a fuck.
oh, great, my friend is back. drilling. drilling. drilling.... away.
he had his first cup of peppermint tea today. first in his life. and he's very proud that he's in such great shape to be able t fit in tight areas. whatever way you interpret that.
tonight i'm going to the theater with my wonderful flatmates who are moving out on saturday into their Washington CC as M has put it. the flat is in a council estate in Waterloo and the estate looks a bit like a small medieval castle, from a very low and far angle obviously. so M has taken to calling it the Council Castle, and lately just CC. when they move out i'll have more space and more air, but also absolutely noone to immediately bounce back from when another attack is aimed at me by me. i'm considering doing an english language course soon. it's time for me to start learning the language i believe.
oh, and who the fuck cares about human dignity anyways?
love me,
Big D.
ps. apologies for the rude language.
got a call yesterday from the guy at the gate saying that the ceiling underneath me has been ruined and there's a lot of water coming through. water underneath my bedroom floor. you know... pipes just get old and things need to be replaced and everyday life dealt with. so i'm dealing.
otherwise, i saw a photograph on facebook today, posted by H who i went out with on saturday. the photograph show me talking to the guy i very publicly made out with. didn't sleep with him though... was hairy, had my periods and couldn't generally be bothered. couldn't be bothered because despite the temporary sex-goddess in me that raised it's shiny and pretty head during the little vacation i had from being an emancipated single girl in london, my mojo and libido are pretty much down to minus 2000 again. am contemplating shaving my legs for the little 'drinks thing' tomorrow though. who know...perhaps i'll even survive the sex bit. it's a good thing H posted the photo because i for one was definitely not sure what A looked like. well, now i know.
i don't get lasting image-memories from reality these days. blame the medication. everything is a bit of a blur and it's hard to give a fuck.
oh, great, my friend is back. drilling. drilling. drilling.... away.
he had his first cup of peppermint tea today. first in his life. and he's very proud that he's in such great shape to be able t fit in tight areas. whatever way you interpret that.
tonight i'm going to the theater with my wonderful flatmates who are moving out on saturday into their Washington CC as M has put it. the flat is in a council estate in Waterloo and the estate looks a bit like a small medieval castle, from a very low and far angle obviously. so M has taken to calling it the Council Castle, and lately just CC. when they move out i'll have more space and more air, but also absolutely noone to immediately bounce back from when another attack is aimed at me by me. i'm considering doing an english language course soon. it's time for me to start learning the language i believe.
oh, and who the fuck cares about human dignity anyways?
love me,
Big D.
ps. apologies for the rude language.
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