I'll start off with a description of my present being - my eyes are red, my nose is running and I have a suspicious feeling that my mascara has run all down my face.
Yes, I watched 'The Pursuit of Happyness' on DVD. God - what a way to put things in to perspective! Also reminded me of a lot of my worries.

I suppose I should update you on what has happened to me recently. For starters, I took a short trip down Memory lane and returned to Estonia for my brother's graduation. To make a longish story short, it was a good trip but I didn't get anything done. I drove a fair bit with Divorcee and, to be honest, she's pretty good. Apart from the near hit on the way to the airport...

I came back to a predominantly male flat. Let me just say this - living with two men who I'm not married or related to is something I won't be repeating in the future if I can help it. We went out shopping today (AAAAAAARGH - french guy is a bit CLINGY) and let's just say I heard more talk about cars and chasing beautiful women than I cared to. Every time anyone in a skirt would walk by it was practically a whistle and a mad dash past me to check her out. Very very very little common conversation.

What else... oh yes. I'm not going to the wedding. To make another long story short, I didn't get paid properly and so don't have enough cash for the tickets right now. That whole catastrophe that is my work is an interesting enough moment in general at present - might go in to that at a later date.

Anyway, will bid you a teary goodbye - I think today is just not my day and so I should go to sleep. It's the only thing for it.

xx

I guess i will be the one adding something as it seems that no one else is doing that.

There have not been many changes in my suburban situation, but I can see improvement some time tomorrow, when I will be raiding all the art galleries in NY.
Otherwise my life has been filled with books, movies, shopping and tennis. Yes you heard me right, I play tennis again. I play tennis EVERY day. This is due to my dad who insists that I train with him. He even took me proper tennis shoe shopping!!!!
The shopping has been great, I managed to go to Loehmann's as my first store and buy too much stuff. Everything really is cheap here. Next on the list is getting my hair done and then my nails.
Oh I also went swimming in an outdoor pool today. It was quite fun, except that it was a public pool and that there were kids thee. Well, at least the lifeguards were semi hot and I spent my time looking at their gorgeous bodies, wishing that they weren't attached to their faces.
I guess I'm running out of things to write about. Oh except that I have to mention that I started reading books for teenagers and I'm once again into Disney movies! :)
Anyways must run now as my People and US weekly are waiting for me.

I WILL BE VERY UPSET IF NO ONE WRITES ANYTHING ON HERE.

Xxx
Bam

Oh and I forgot my US number is +13478799007

Saturday the 16th of June, 2007

Dear Diary...
I had to start my post this way because I feel like Anne Frank at the moment (locked away in an attick, observing the world from afar).
To start from the very beginning, my flight went surprisingly well. Sadly me and Albama didn't manage to have our last cigs together after the securiy check as it turned out that my flight was from the North terminal (that didn't cross our minds earlier). It wasn't half bad though as we managed to spend 20 mins on the phone, discussing the weird people who were checking in with us.
I didn't sleep on the plane at all, as I was watching Harry Potter and then CSI, and by the time we landed I was struggling to keep my eyes open. All the immigration stuff went well, except for the endless waiting around, but at least i didn't have to wait for my luggage, as by the time I got to it my suitcase was the only one next to the reclaim belt.
My dad was waiting for me and as we left the terminal I got the first glimpse of the fab NJ weather (extreme heat then a thunder storm). We spent some time looking for the car and as it turned out my dad came with his convertible BMW (I didn't know he owned one!) Really enjoyed the wind in my hair, except the fact that it took me 30 mins to comb it out later on.
The house is quite nice, a bit plain but nice and I got the guest room in the attic. It's very hot in there so I spent my first night blasting the AC and sleeping through the noise.
I guess my first day would have been pretty uneventful, if we hadn't gone over to the neighbours place or a BBQ, which later turned out to be some poor kids Hawaian birthday party. This is where my true suburbian lifestyle began.
The party was full of weird neighbours and funny relatives. The turnout was so werid that it would give Desperate Housewives a run for their money. There was a dad who was already quite drunk on cheap beer and hence very talkative. He insisted on making everyone sno-cones and bragged about the catering service he used for the party a million times in a row. His wife was very quiet and I didn't quite get that it was her house until we left. There was also an aunt present who was, I think, in her 40s, relatively unattractive, single mother with a 18 year old son. She was loud and kind of fun in a fucked up way. We had a conversation about the drinking law, Iraq (I don't know how that happened) and in the end she gave me some addresses for cool roof-top lounges in NY. We agreed that we'll go out to some clubs together (Like that's going to happen :p). There were also many kids present, all under the age of 10, which added to the chaos.
I of course drank in heavy quantaties and as I hadn't eaten much that day, got relatively pissed.
Had many cigs on the neighbours front lawn and managed to fall over a toy truck that was hiding in the darkness. Finally I retired to my room, where I could still hear the neighbours screaming really loudly while smoking cigars. All in all the evening was very fucked up and I can promise you that I will not be moving to the suburbs any time soon!!!!!!
GOD, THESE PEOPLE ARE WEIRD!!!!!! (I'm just starting to realize how much truth is in Desperate Housewives)
OK must run now, but will write again soon!
Miss you all terribly!
Xxx
Bam

PS! Sorry about the spelling mistakes, don't have time to reread everything :p

Hey!

I can't believe no one's writing anything. I was bored today (Mr Kennedy and I have traded in the flat for the comfort of the Hartley and its internet) and alas - NOTHING NEW.

Am struggling to find something to say myself - haven't done anything of note really this week. Apart from being broke and waiting for payday?

Travel to Eesti Saturday, Bam and I are departing for Gatwick together and a bright and early hour in the attempts to have a last cigarette and coffee together past security check. She of course off to an even further destination - NY!

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to seeing the family - and even more, I'm looking forward to my first dinner - saslokk, new potatoes and sour cream. Mmmmmmmmmm. I've been dreaming of saslokk for longer than I care to admit.

Will report back when I have seen Divorcee (if she ever answers her bloody phone) and have seen Bam Bam off in to the world at large.

Love, Mama.

You're not the only one feeling blue.
I didn't get the school I wanted. I got in ESCP-EAP, which is supposed to be (according to the Financial Times) the 2nd-best school for management studies in Europe. But guess what? I wanted the best one: HEC (yep, it's only one rank ahead, I know, and I also know that LSE, the London Business School etc come afterwards, and I should feel good about myself, but I'm just sad I didn't get in the first one).
Apart from that, I had a great day, and I managed to see about 7 different friends from my former school, and meet one of A. L.'s female friends (J) who is really nice. She and I have a lot in common (especially relationship-wise, hurray, i'm not a freak!); I've had loads of wine (good wine), very good food and it was, really, a good day, full of former (and present) acquaintances - if it wasn't for this stupid school stuff.
I still have to wait for another week to see whether the other school I want wants me (which, actually, isn't so well ranked in the FT) but I'm kinda bored with it already.
As Divorcée would say: "Blaaaaaaa"

much love

PS: I love your bag.

Sigh.

Sigh sigh sigh sigh.

Am left this evening feeling rather blue. And I don't know why.

Just watched The Departed with Mr Kennedy and - I love Leo. We have more films coming (yay!) and our plan is now to watch DVDs while I observe Mr Kennedy's love life from the amount of text messages he receives (and then he disappears for half an hour for a phone call in the middle while I play Freecell for the entire time). Repeat.

I had a very busy day/evening planned. Was hellish at work (I'm seeing my future and my summer is work - hellish work) and then was supposed to meet a former colleague, E, for wine and nibbles at Mode. Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling well and went home with what she assumes is a tummy bug - I feel for her, I do. For those who don't know, we ourselves fell victim to a vicious strain of stomach flu some months back and I still can't quite forget the disgusting beings we all were. Frenchie on the floor of our kitchen inhaling anti-nausea tablets and Mr Kennedy with his head in a bowl for 2 days. I won't go in to my own personal ordeal...

Anywho, so E cancelled and I fell back on the idea of my 8 pm plans - drinks with the girls from NX. But guess who got slightly drunk BEFORE and then fell off their sofa and 'thought they broke their arms'. Admittedly, I had tried to cancel just before that as I thought I was going to be too tired etc... but I mean, COME ON. So I came home, ate loads of dinner (work makes one hungry) and then settled down to dance on my own in the kitchen.

And now am in bed and blue. Aaah, come, sleep. Bring a new day.

Bisous Frenchie. And F D and BB who are in VE as we speak. Although actually, I didn't want to go and am being good and will get up for work in the morning.
It's crap being the only working girl.

xx

Duracell bunnies, bags, green dollars, REAL LOVE, random things, you know.

There is a slight problem with your schedule though: I can't see my name anywhere in it. well i guess it's probably because you carry me in your heart. I COMPLETE YOU. musssimusssi.

the bag is pretty. all you're lacking now is a male accessory for the other arm. surely that won't be a problem. do not, however, let 'it' outshine the bag.

how did go with H?

i am writing this in colour just so you'll realize how difficult it is to read other people's texts when they almost blind you.

sensuous touches....

Beauty..

Delirium (Tremens?)

So, nothing much has happened in the past few days, only for the fact that L. is finally back from L.A. and for quite a while now, it seems. She looks happier than ever, though it's probably due to some kind of ecstatic state (as she arrived yesterday) that will probably fade in a couple of days.

Today was an "old friends' day" as I had lunch with A.L.; drinks with L., A.L and H. (yes, believe it or not, he just happened to be walking by the café where we were enjoying a couple of drinks in the sun, and stopped by for an hour or so to have a drink with us), then more drinks and dinner with L. and A.L. then even more drinks with M. (and she remains as talkative as ever!) ...

Yes, I am not ashamed to say that I spent my day drinking cider then red wine in the sunlight (and moonlight, later) eating cheese, chatting the day away. And it felt good. (Hence my quite disheveled account of my day/afternoon/evening)

Tomorrow I'm suposed to go and see an exhibition (photography with L.) then drinks and dinner with A.L. who wants to introduce me to some of her friends, in a bar which is quite similar to Gordon's Wine bar (near Embankment) in London. Lovely.

(oh, and I'm supposed to get HEC's results tomorrow around 5pm - hence the heavy drinking - though I don't really need an excuse for that)

Thursday M. is finishing her exams at 2.30pm, so it's bound to be another day of heavy drinking, then dinner with friends.. Then (probably before dinner actually) an exhibition's opening: a guy whom I know has been literally advertising his face all around Paris for years now (the concept was: does a great artist enjoy good publicity or does advertisement make a good artist?) he basically took ONE picture of himself, and stuck it as posters anywhere (and everywhere) in Paris (not only on his car but also walls, billboards, buildings, road signs etc).

And he's finally ('maybe') revealing his true identity to 'the world' on Thursday. He's not going to do it though, it's just a bit more advertising. But EVERYONE knows his face in Paris, though most people don't know WHO he is. Funny.

Anyways, we're then supposed to attend a party at the Pulp (a former lesbians' nightclub) with one of the owners of the biggest advertising company in Paris.. She's good fun, and the night's bound to be good..

Friday so far isn't really booked, except for an event called 'Urban Litterature' where a handful of actors 'read' famous texts by various people (from the French poet Baudelaire through Salman Rushdie, Bret Easton Ellis, Marcel Proust, to lyrics by IAM - a French rap crew) which sounds really interesting.

I've so far described my schedule for the next few days, only to state that:

"I'm back in business"!

Or rather trying to keep myself busy so I won't have to think about the fact that I don't have a job, I'm terribly lazy (I'm beginning to think it's a medical condition... A.M - who's supposed to know everything medically-wise - do you believe it is?) and I'm still 3 weeks away from my 'real' holidays...

That's all for now.

"Paris calling", by Frenchie.

I miss you biatches!

Ps: I've forgotten to mention that I had a free Power Plate trial today (only the 5th in 3 years, I'm way past the trial sessions now lol) and my entire body hurts like hell! I'm so under-exercised! Will probably sign up for this one though, as they do student discounts (up to 50% off) it's only, literally, 3 seconds away from home, and offers the most competitive prices you could find in Paris right now.. Hell, I'm going to suffer, and on a weekly basis.. I must be a masochist!!

Pps: yep, I'm still obsessed with colourful stripes ah ah!

Enlightenment

Divorcee was not prancing.
Sorry, third person problem, again. I was not prancing. I was merely walking or after the first hill was behind me, crawling. Since I have not really physically moved myself for, eee, ever, it was a challenge (to my thighs).
however, the scenery saved my soul. nature enlightened me. sort of.
well if not nature then the fact, that after climbing a few hills you would always arrive at a village (no matter what the direction) with about 10 houses. 8 of them would be residential buildings or just major museum/summer-house estates for the sirs and ladies and then there would always be a post-office and... wait for it..... a pub. always. the destination on our walks/crawls ended up not being the top of a hill but the villages behind the hills. lovely. i discovered that spending most of the year in london and other highly polluted cities gets you to a point where just a breath of clean country air (with a slight dose of cows mixed in) will get me so high that i cannot stop giggling. of course i think that perhaps our wonderful hosts, Marilyn and Dean, actually did think we were a lesbian junkie-couple from eastern Europe. since the average age of visitors was either 3-6 or 75-90 years, we felt special anyways.
plus i was also constantly having a sugar-rush because L was having her periods and insisted on buying a whole grecery-bag full of candy and chocolate every day and then felt offended when in the beginning i didn't feel like having any. that tiny problem was quickly solved by the fact that the more you have the more you want. so..no weight-loss there. something i probably could have predicted anyways.

(once again i realized that i can not function if every now and then i don't go back to that which i'm made of. (a very romantic notion, i know. even cliche but true for me.) i'm made of the dirt in the ground, the trees, the leaves, the rocks, the air, the water and even the smelly shit of cows. the minute i realized this again i moved on. new ideas, new perspectives, new wishes. guess i am a nature- girl after all.)

About my new temporary flat-mate, ladies, there is something i feel is my duty to notify you of: yesterday when i got home from Gordon's (where me and L had decided to have a final drink of our trip) with half a bottle of red which we had been unable to consume withhin those 5 minutes when they told us that they were closing, i offered some of the wine to G. his first reaction was: "Now? On a Sunday everning?".
spending time with any of us is going to be very very bad for him. no surprise there, though.

PS! Frenchie, your whole goddess research worried me a tiny bit.

Ok. So yesterday was a Saturday, right? Yeah. Beautiful weather, truly gorgeous.
Well, BB and I started off with a light lunch about 2.30 pm. We went to Borough, bought naughty naughty Bratwursts (yum) and a Corona each and found a nice spot in the shade by the river where the ever-present London pigeons and tourists tried to attack us, each in their own way. We had a lovely hour's chat before B was supposed to go to S's for creative study. But then it turned out S had a hangover - a biggie. So we went for another Corona at a famous London venue, the Anchor. With a view over the Thames from it's rather large terrace, it was the perfect place for our planned calm Saturday. The only glitch of course was that AM texted P and he misunderstood her and thought she wanted to meet that evening. Unfortunately, she and B weren't averse to this idea and so entertained themselves with people-watching for the next two hours (actually, we were looking for cute shoes) and a few more Coronas. When P arrived, we were fairly merry, perhaps bc a group of Pirates seemed to be on a beer crawl and had some fantastic costumes. One even had a magic compass - if it pointed at you, the pirate absolutely HAD to kiss you. He approached B with some joy and told her that his kiss would cost a pound. She gave him the famous Bam look and he then said that for her, of course, all his kisses would be free. Anyway, the arrow didn't point at her and he looked rather unhappy as he moved on. Poor boy.

So anyway, when P arrived we were fairly merry, as we said before. Had a chat but were looking for a table (we had previously been sitting on a stone bench in the main thoroughway) and finally found one. A couple more rounds later a young gentleman of dubious being decided to vomit practically next to our table. Enough was enough - P spied another table and leaned on his bench to get up - upon which the WHOLE table dipped. B jumped and ran for the hills (figuratively of course) screaming like a banchee. P just stood, watching his phone being drenched in beer. AM unfortunately got the worst of the downpour - as she said later 'I'm covered in beer from my boobs to my shoes'. It was about 20 glasses of beer, water and other mixed interesting looking things (the wait staff wasn't being particularly efficient). The one thing she managed to save, strangely enough, was her own drink. Not her bag, not her cigarettes, her drink. A lovely (non-attractive) gentleman came to save the phone after his friends screamed, what else, but 'The phone! Save the phone!' but we later realised, to no avail. The phone was not to be saved. P is YET AGAIN, not in contact by telephone, the idiot. So anyway, at least now we had a table with a view, no matter that AM looked strangely like a wet dog and everyone else on the terrace kept asking what happened as it had been the highlight in the entertainment of the evening. P was dispatched for more drinks to calm our nerves but that didn't help and after all the attention, we thought it was best to leave.

A taxi ride later, we found ourselves at our usual haunt, VE. We quickly found a table and, as BB says, 'That's where it all went downhill, pretty much'. Too much wine and a smoky atmosphere later, after the lovely feeling of outdoors by the Thames, we were pissed. BB wanted drugs, P wanted drugs, AM started her anti-drugs campaigning (in a very pissed 'You do want you want, assholes') and in the end, no one got them. BB went home and bought oven pizza which she promptly stuck in the micro. AM and P stayed a while longer and stumbled towards the minicab office, making rude comments to the couple that dared not get a room, and contemplating a kebab. Neither materialised but P rode off in to the depths of South London and AM joined BB in making the only food they had at home.

Update: Both girls are now at home sunbathing on the roof, rather hungover. It was, however, a TOP night! (if you know what we mean)

Love to Frenchie, in gay Paree, and Divorcee, prancing about in the hills of Derbyshire. You may have just narrowly escaped our evening but you were always in our minds. Especially as we would have rather you had been balancing the table on the other side - then we wouldn't have been drenched, bitches!

Postscript:
As we were putting the laptop inside, BB spotted a pigeon not 6 feet away. Eew! We screamed.
BB: It looks kinda different.
AM: That's because there's clean ones and dirty ones.

Something funny... yet true!

a Treaty on Sexuality and other Entertaining Activities

"Nil ego contulerim iucundo sanus amico."

"While I am sane I shall compare nothing to the joy of a friend."

Horace, Satires

According to a stupid girly tests website which name I can't recall,

'my inner goddess is Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty', who unfortunately happened to be married to the ugliest of gods, the limp smithy Hephaestus. The legend also states that she had many affairs with men ("both human and divine") and truly, who could blame her if her husband was, indeed, the ugliest of all. But in my opinion (and after a good two hours on the internet) I believe myself to be a mix between Freya, (goddess of love, magic, and divination), and Ishtar (the Babylonian goddess of love, procreation, and war). Freya was "loved by men, giants, and dwarves" which I think could be widely understood as a highly probable (albeit hilarious and quite realistic) description of my past and present admirers. As history goes, "by sleeping with four dwarves she acquired the Brisings necklace" and I can indeed picture myself sleeping with a dwarf in exchange for a necklace, (I have very flexible morals), as long as the thousands of diamonds covering it have been certified beforehand. Ishtar (the other half of my wonderfully schizophrenic inner goddess) was known for destroying her lovers, which I am ashamed to claim I have done in the past (and might as well do again, as Ishtar needs practice.. otherwise she gets extremely bored, and trust me, you do not wish to see a bored goddess)!

As I then spent much time researching ancient goddesses, I took the liberty to assign one to each one of my fellow bloggers, admitedly absolutely arbitrarily, based on my (surely biased) perception of their love lives, admirers (past and present), sexuality, general behaviour, and hopefully a good dose of humour.

So I've had to assign the Roman goddess of love and beauty Venus to La Divorcée. First of all, because she was originally an Italic goddess of vegetation and patron of gardens, and I thought that it suited her (especially after her little trip to Derbyshire) very well. Also, Venus was a goddess of chastity, although her love affairs included a marriage to Vulcan and an affair with Mars. As you might have noticed, Venus is Aphrodite's Roman counterpart, AND her husband was the god of fire and the forge, a place which must have been uncomfortable and extremely noisy (and was he too, a drama-queen?) hence driving his wife away from (her home and) his ugliness into the arms of the arms of a much younger, hotter, god. It is even reported that they divorced.

Bam Bam, of course could have easily been assigned Venus or Aphrodite, the 'most beautiful goddesses of all'. But I decided to choose the seductive goddess Oshun instead, who "embodied love and fertility" and got into people's heart and souls to make them "experience love as a sensual journey". She was perceived as a sweet, giving, self-confident, playful goddess, who liked beautiful things and used them to her advantage, sometimes mistaken for a female Narcisse (over-invested in her own beauty) when she was, in fact, always prepared to sacrifice her 'feathers' for the sake of the crowd.

Finally, to A'bama Mama I assigned the Hindu goddess Gauri, to whom young women prayed for a sensitive, devoted mate. Gauri herself, was a devoted lover and family member who 'trusted that good things come to those who wait'. Gauri had faith in the sanctity of love, and was willing to sacrifice quite a bit to be with her beloved. Her commitment was seen as admirable and rare, and the goddess was believed to have been rewarded with an inner calm that could withstand even the stormiest circumstances.

Now, I'd like to mention to my fellow A.U. that I, quite on the contrary, do not consider these episodes as 'extra' or 'bonus' ones (which by the way will soon exceed in length and content the so-called seasonal episodes).

First of all, we have all agreed on the fact that series should NOT have 'summer breaks' leaving us un-entertained (i.e. extremely bored) when we have the most free time on our hands (forget about the free time for those of us who are working full-time over the summer, but they are too in great - greater?- need of entertainment).

For the very same reason, summer is actually The Season, when we get to loose (admitedly very little) weight, get waxed often and extensively, get even drunker than before (no need to wake up early the next day, nor the one after that, nor the.. -see the pattern?- ) and finally, finally, have something happening in our usually non-interesting lives, things which for once should be mentioned in the blog, and might catch a reader's poodle-like' attention-span (other than our own)... So, I'm campaigning for these 'bonus' episodes to either become a new full season of their own Or be a complete part of season two (three? I'm lost!)..

I have decided today that my blog entry shall be a colourful one, as you might have noticed. You my dears know my obsession with colorful stripes (oh, how I wish I could be the illegitimate daughter of Paul Smith and Sonia Rykiel!!!) and stars. As I can hardly write in stars, I have therefore decided to create a colourful stripe-y impression on my blog entry. Voilà!

To go back to the title, when I started this entry I had my head full of meaningful things to write about sexuality, A'bama Mama, La Divorcée and French Practices. Right now, they seem to be gone, evaporated as my brain (yep, I do have one, I checked - when I move my head sideways, I do not hear the sound a pea would make in an empty cavity) increasingly lacks sugar. I believe I'm going through withdrawal symptoms, as my mom has banned biscuit, chocolate, or indeed anything sugary (fruits excepted, but they're vegetables, not sugar!) from the house. Grr. And in France off-liscences do close, and more often than not around midnight, which means that even if I had the courage to go out in a desperate attempt to procure my daily fix, I may not get it anyways. Grr.

The only things I remember are:

I am very happy for La Divorcée that Frank (Fred?) is back in her life. Even more so because he was kind enough to wait for me to vacate the premises before he made a much-acclaimed reappearance, for which I am extremely grateful.

I am also very happy that A'bama Mama has come to terms with what she wants (a fruit-picker with a brain), that she was able to actually phrase it, and I do hope that she will find it soon. Also, I suggest she comes to France, as I've realised (but maybe that's just my taste) that by living in London I had forgotten what a cute guy looked like, and at least here when they're cute, they are also well dressed, clean and shaved, funny and gentlemen. Gosh, why did I ever leave? Oh yeah, probably because the rest of the population is composed of either hotter (and better dressed) biatches, or stupid old 'chavs'...

Anyways, it is now time for me to go to bed, and I'm sure every smart thing I wanted to say in my Treaty on Sexuality will come back to me in my sleep.. hence I'll write it some other time..

many (French) bisous