It is an accepted fact that essay writing undermines our own intelligence and uses that of philosophers and other such theorists of excrement to outline something which we personally never wished to outline in the first place. If I needed to, I could presently use the philosophy of Walter Benjamin and Derrida to write a convincing argument for the existence of aliens. Are they arguing for the existence of aliens? No. But I could write it and 75% if the essay's readers would nod their heads and try to follow my train of thought and debate for themselves whether aliens exist, debating for or against my own arguments (ie, the arguments of others).
BULLSHIT.
I am presently debating Aristotle's morals in terms of 30's movies (a la Cary Grant) and also, in parallel, discussing the charms of Walter Benjamin's aura.
WHAT FUCKING AURA? If we don't choose to believe it, it might not even exist. How about I debate that? How about I debate how philosophy touches so few lives today that Aristotle's influence over our lives is merely only when we are forced to read his miserable epistles (all 4000 pages of them) and then because of the pain inflicted upon us while reading the greek translations we close the books never to think of them again?
That is precisely what my degree has taught me - think for myself because when I let others think for me I end up spouting words I myself don't even understand.
So let's get back to the matter at hand. Bam Bam and Divorcee and I are sitting in our local, pretending to write when actually we're copy-pasting Wikipedia and changing words so as to pretend its not plagiarism. Don't get me wrong - we're intelligent people. I can debate much of the philosophy I pretend to read, however I don't see how that's going to help me NOW when I have cleaning to do and, from tomorrow, a mother to entertain. Why can't they just grade us on the conversations we have in class? I swear I would speak more - Scouts honour!
Meanwhile, all these essays are giving me is a sugar rush and a determination to become a bigger alcoholic than I already am. Is that possible? Now that is an argument I feel the need to debate.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
good things.
thank you. really.
i felt like writing something. probably because it keeps me from not working on the essays.
i don't know why but things seem to be 'locked' tonight. my mind, my computer, my front door and windows. i wish they were not, but cannot be bothered enough to do anything about it.
i find it annoying that i have to become something soon. also that i smoke too much. and that i enjoy illegal substances. and that i'm absolutely fucking lazy. good-things-will-come-to-those-who-wait-my-a,,,. do i see them coming. ? akaa...i don't think so. generally i'm a happy person. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
fantastically interesting as i can be.
the ex-husband's sister is coming to london next week probably. that should prove interesting. might even wake me up. oh, here's an idea, why don't i go out with the sister, the husband and the roman holiday. i love my life.
always.
i felt like writing something. probably because it keeps me from not working on the essays.
i don't know why but things seem to be 'locked' tonight. my mind, my computer, my front door and windows. i wish they were not, but cannot be bothered enough to do anything about it.
i find it annoying that i have to become something soon. also that i smoke too much. and that i enjoy illegal substances. and that i'm absolutely fucking lazy. good-things-will-come-to-those-who-wait-my-a,,,. do i see them coming. ? akaa...i don't think so. generally i'm a happy person. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
fantastically interesting as i can be.
the ex-husband's sister is coming to london next week probably. that should prove interesting. might even wake me up. oh, here's an idea, why don't i go out with the sister, the husband and the roman holiday. i love my life.
always.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
Bam Bam Goes Home...
I'm finally here and I'm not leaving before I write something!!
As I've not shared on anything for the past few months, I have heaps and heaps to talk about, but not to bore you I will start from the very end and then gradually mention some of the older things.
At the moment I am back on my home soil and not doing much more than relaxing and driving around (more exactly I'm getting driven around as I still haven't managed to get my licence). There are bunch of useful things for me to do but the truth is I'm still recoverying from my bumpy ride here. It wasn't the turbulence or the careless flying of Easyjet, but purely my own carelessness that got me into such state of craziness.
It all started inocently last wednesday when I finished packing. I resumed reading Harry Potter, but soon relized that it wasn't doing the trick and that I was most sertainly going to die of boredom. So, instead I called S and joined her and other girls at the Concervative party's dinner. The evening did start innocently enough, but as you might have guessed it didn't quite stay that innocent.
The dinner was thinning out at around 9.30pm but we stayed around with a bunch of S's guy friends and drank loads of champaign. The convercation was heated and everyone seemed to have a good time, including me of course. Then A (S's old time friend who is engaged to the most boring girl ever lol) suggested that we all go for dinner. This was at like 11pm and everyone except S and her concervative boyfriend agreed to go. And now Alabama guess where we decided to go... well, nowhere else than the infamous Signor Sassi. I must say the food was delicious and the staff very fun (well it did help that A has known them all for years and they offered to give us the keys so we could lock up whenever we left (an offer which wasn't a joke at all as it turned out, because that's what A had done a number of times)).
At around 1 am, after burning and flying candy wrappers we decided to leave. I think it was the perfect time as the convercation was turning around relationships and sex and I don't think any of us was sober enough to discuss these subjects normally. Walking back to A's car we decided that there was no point in cutting the evening short, so instead we drove down to Crystal. It wasn't even half bad for so late on wednesday. We did some heavy dancing on sofas and also some heavy champagne drinking, until I finally dragged my ass out of there with one of the girls at around 3am. We shared a cab, well kind of as I had to actually get another one by Tower Bridge and when I finally walked through my front door it was 3.40am. As there was no point in sleeping, I read Harry Potter for 20 min until my cab came to pick me up.
This is not the end of my great adventure though, because when I finally got on the Stansted bus I passed out immideately and when I woke up I though we were at Stratford where the buses make a stop every once in a while. So, instead of getting off I let everyone pass and sat there for a bit. Then I realized I was sitting there alone and that was because we were actually at Stansted Airport. I staggered off the bus and managed to make it to the escalators inside the airport, when I realized I had left my suitcase on the bus. Obviously I rushed back, but the bus was nowhere to be found. I did locate it a little while later in the parking lot and managed to catch the driver right before he left. Now completely embarrassed I walked back to the airport and checked-in. At this point I was so completely exhausted I could barely stand but I decided to find the smoking area anyway. This took some effort as I managed to walk past it at least 3 times.
When I finally did have my cigaret I realized it was about time I went through security. The line was long and it took forever. At least for me it took forever as I got pulled aside and my whole carry-on got unpacked. It turned out I forgot to put my antibacterial thing for hands in a plastic bag, but the lady was nice and she just scanned all my stuff again and let me keep it. The process was very long though and by the time I was in the waiting lounge I heared the last call for my flight. I rushed like an idiot and didn't manage to look at any of the stores like I had planned. I also didn't manage to buy any food either. When I got to my gate there were still some people going on so I stopped to get a Grazia and some water and them managed to get on the plane without being yelled at. The plane was surprisingly empty and I got a seat almost at the front by the aisle. I was so hungry and tired I obviously managed to pass out right away.
The landing in Tallinn was smooth and I felt almost like a human once I got off the plane. As I was at the frontI managed to get to the passport control quite fast. I handed the guy my passport and he looked at it forever and then instead of handing it back to me he said he needed to see some more ID as i didn't look anything like my passport photo. By this point I was sooo tired of everything I literally threw my ID card at him and he let me go. While I was waiting for my luggage I noticed the customs people eyeing me suspiciously and I was almost certain that they would stop me and make me unpack my suitcase. But god had mercy and they didn't, so I managed to get out of there.
My mom and Atko were both in the airport and when they hugged me they both noticed how I smelled of booz and cigarettes. I ignored them and as we were walking out of the terminal I managed to snub one of my friends, because I just couldn't deal with any smalltalk.
Anyways as you can imagine I passed out quite soon after and managed to sleep for like 12 hours. Not entirelly bad!
I'm finally on my way to recovery but I think I've more or less learned my lesson.
DON'T FLY STRAIGHT FROM A PARTY!!!! GET AT LEAST A COUPLE OF HOURS OF SLEEP BEFORE AND WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GET DRUNK BEFORE YOU FLY (during is ok)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and I'm really starting to consider rehab! Maybe I could just go to some AA meetings or smt :) Although they probably wouldn't help!
Xx
As I've not shared on anything for the past few months, I have heaps and heaps to talk about, but not to bore you I will start from the very end and then gradually mention some of the older things.
At the moment I am back on my home soil and not doing much more than relaxing and driving around (more exactly I'm getting driven around as I still haven't managed to get my licence). There are bunch of useful things for me to do but the truth is I'm still recoverying from my bumpy ride here. It wasn't the turbulence or the careless flying of Easyjet, but purely my own carelessness that got me into such state of craziness.
It all started inocently last wednesday when I finished packing. I resumed reading Harry Potter, but soon relized that it wasn't doing the trick and that I was most sertainly going to die of boredom. So, instead I called S and joined her and other girls at the Concervative party's dinner. The evening did start innocently enough, but as you might have guessed it didn't quite stay that innocent.
The dinner was thinning out at around 9.30pm but we stayed around with a bunch of S's guy friends and drank loads of champaign. The convercation was heated and everyone seemed to have a good time, including me of course. Then A (S's old time friend who is engaged to the most boring girl ever lol) suggested that we all go for dinner. This was at like 11pm and everyone except S and her concervative boyfriend agreed to go. And now Alabama guess where we decided to go... well, nowhere else than the infamous Signor Sassi. I must say the food was delicious and the staff very fun (well it did help that A has known them all for years and they offered to give us the keys so we could lock up whenever we left (an offer which wasn't a joke at all as it turned out, because that's what A had done a number of times)).
At around 1 am, after burning and flying candy wrappers we decided to leave. I think it was the perfect time as the convercation was turning around relationships and sex and I don't think any of us was sober enough to discuss these subjects normally. Walking back to A's car we decided that there was no point in cutting the evening short, so instead we drove down to Crystal. It wasn't even half bad for so late on wednesday. We did some heavy dancing on sofas and also some heavy champagne drinking, until I finally dragged my ass out of there with one of the girls at around 3am. We shared a cab, well kind of as I had to actually get another one by Tower Bridge and when I finally walked through my front door it was 3.40am. As there was no point in sleeping, I read Harry Potter for 20 min until my cab came to pick me up.
This is not the end of my great adventure though, because when I finally got on the Stansted bus I passed out immideately and when I woke up I though we were at Stratford where the buses make a stop every once in a while. So, instead of getting off I let everyone pass and sat there for a bit. Then I realized I was sitting there alone and that was because we were actually at Stansted Airport. I staggered off the bus and managed to make it to the escalators inside the airport, when I realized I had left my suitcase on the bus. Obviously I rushed back, but the bus was nowhere to be found. I did locate it a little while later in the parking lot and managed to catch the driver right before he left. Now completely embarrassed I walked back to the airport and checked-in. At this point I was so completely exhausted I could barely stand but I decided to find the smoking area anyway. This took some effort as I managed to walk past it at least 3 times.
When I finally did have my cigaret I realized it was about time I went through security. The line was long and it took forever. At least for me it took forever as I got pulled aside and my whole carry-on got unpacked. It turned out I forgot to put my antibacterial thing for hands in a plastic bag, but the lady was nice and she just scanned all my stuff again and let me keep it. The process was very long though and by the time I was in the waiting lounge I heared the last call for my flight. I rushed like an idiot and didn't manage to look at any of the stores like I had planned. I also didn't manage to buy any food either. When I got to my gate there were still some people going on so I stopped to get a Grazia and some water and them managed to get on the plane without being yelled at. The plane was surprisingly empty and I got a seat almost at the front by the aisle. I was so hungry and tired I obviously managed to pass out right away.
The landing in Tallinn was smooth and I felt almost like a human once I got off the plane. As I was at the frontI managed to get to the passport control quite fast. I handed the guy my passport and he looked at it forever and then instead of handing it back to me he said he needed to see some more ID as i didn't look anything like my passport photo. By this point I was sooo tired of everything I literally threw my ID card at him and he let me go. While I was waiting for my luggage I noticed the customs people eyeing me suspiciously and I was almost certain that they would stop me and make me unpack my suitcase. But god had mercy and they didn't, so I managed to get out of there.
My mom and Atko were both in the airport and when they hugged me they both noticed how I smelled of booz and cigarettes. I ignored them and as we were walking out of the terminal I managed to snub one of my friends, because I just couldn't deal with any smalltalk.
Anyways as you can imagine I passed out quite soon after and managed to sleep for like 12 hours. Not entirelly bad!
I'm finally on my way to recovery but I think I've more or less learned my lesson.
DON'T FLY STRAIGHT FROM A PARTY!!!! GET AT LEAST A COUPLE OF HOURS OF SLEEP BEFORE AND WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GET DRUNK BEFORE YOU FLY (during is ok)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and I'm really starting to consider rehab! Maybe I could just go to some AA meetings or smt :) Although they probably wouldn't help!
Xx
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