GO OBAMA-BIDEN. YES WE CAN!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Thirty-something men..
Hello lovelies,
Well, today is a big day for the blog! It hasn't seen that many contributions in a very long time!
So, where should I start? Bambam, haven't you ever been told that you're not supposed to date/have sex with your flatmate(s)? I thought we did tell you that when (or was it before?!) things went astray with 'Beub'!
There are so many men who'd kill to date you, what do you think it does to the little guy's head? He has you right there, he can have you sometimes, but not all the time, and then he realises that others can have you too, and you're only 'his' because you haven't found someone else yet. Poor guy. I feel slightly sorry for him..
Anyways, can't wait for you to have a proper date with the male Frenchie! Once you try them, you can never go back lol. About the Painter, I've just experience a slightly similar date with a guy (minus the no sex for 10 years part of course lol). Let's call mine The Pilot, because, yes, he is a pilot, as in he flies planes for a living - and not really planes, but one plane, for a very rich Saudi prince. He's some kind of chauffeur, but for planes.
The pilot and I met at a Lou Reed 'lecture' ie Lou Reed has a book coming out compiling his lyrics and short stories, and he was reading some of them at a very small 'concert' room in Paris.
I was queuing to get in and get a good seat, while distributing Mediapart flyers, when the guy in front of me started talking to me. We talked for about an hour, then got in the room where I sat with my friends and he sat with his. We met up again at the end of the lecture, and decided on going on a date during the week (yeah, he's American, no French guy would have done that lol).
The date (drinks + dinner + walk around Paris) was great, until I realised the guy had no spontaneity whatsoever. He began to ask me during the walk if he could hold my hand. Then he asked if he could kiss my hand?? Then asked if he could kiss me. Come on, seriously? Where's the spontaneity?
Anyways, as you can guess, he didn't stop there, and here I am, three weeks later, with a "boyfriend" who sends me texts messages to ask if he can call me, which he does 20 times a day and.. you guessed it, it's not going to last any longer!!
Which brings me to my point: what is it with thirty-something male and their need for reassurance? I haven't gone out with a guy my age for years, exactly because I'm so bored with the 'young' types who need to be reassured every step of the way and need a second mommy.. To end up with what? Thirty-somethings who need a second mommy too. Yuk. And what's with these guys, why do they need to be so mellow? I'm going to start looking for a macho man, you know, one with hair, beer smell and beard, at least I won't be getting the mellow phone-calls then!!!
Abama Mama, darling, for the first time in aaaaaaaages, we've all contributed and you haven't! Don't forget to vote tomorrow! And come to Europe for christ' sake woman! It's easier to move one girl across the Atlantic than 3! Besides, don't you miss winter? It's almost winter here on our side of the pond, do come and experience again below 15 temperatures!! Come! We have Coca Cola too you know! Love you.
Divorcée my love, stop worrying so much. You love him he loves you.. Yes, the lovey-dovey moments are the best, but going into the more 'mature' moments of your relationship should reassure you that he's there for the long run. The "cooling down" moments you're experiencing are for you to feel happy about the fact that he's there, and make you more confident in your relationship.. not the other way around. I'm tempted to give you the same advice Bam gave you: find an activity to keep your mind occupied. You'll find that he thinks of you as often as you do.. when he's not working! Because you have too much time on your hands, your mind is on him 24/7. And we all know studying does not take your mind off things, it lets it wander even more! Sport is good, but some sports give you time to think all the same, chose them carefully! And how about this documentary-watching 'marathon' you once started? I'm pretty sure there's still plenty of these to watch..
Btw, thanks for the books you've lent my brother! I hadn't seen him read a book in such a long time!! (although I must also say that his computer cannot connect to the internet at home, which forces him also to find solace in other activities!) He seems to be enjoying them very much.
Anyways (yes, I still love this word, and I will use it as often as possible) see you young ladies on Friday, and Abama Mama, you'd better get in touch. I don't want to hear anything about this job of yours taking up your time, first of all you're working part-time, hence the other part of your time should be dedicated to contacting ME, also there's an economic crisis, I'm sure they can spare you for the duration of one overseas phone-call.
bisous bisous
Well, today is a big day for the blog! It hasn't seen that many contributions in a very long time!
So, where should I start? Bambam, haven't you ever been told that you're not supposed to date/have sex with your flatmate(s)? I thought we did tell you that when (or was it before?!) things went astray with 'Beub'!
There are so many men who'd kill to date you, what do you think it does to the little guy's head? He has you right there, he can have you sometimes, but not all the time, and then he realises that others can have you too, and you're only 'his' because you haven't found someone else yet. Poor guy. I feel slightly sorry for him..
Anyways, can't wait for you to have a proper date with the male Frenchie! Once you try them, you can never go back lol. About the Painter, I've just experience a slightly similar date with a guy (minus the no sex for 10 years part of course lol). Let's call mine The Pilot, because, yes, he is a pilot, as in he flies planes for a living - and not really planes, but one plane, for a very rich Saudi prince. He's some kind of chauffeur, but for planes.
The pilot and I met at a Lou Reed 'lecture' ie Lou Reed has a book coming out compiling his lyrics and short stories, and he was reading some of them at a very small 'concert' room in Paris.
I was queuing to get in and get a good seat, while distributing Mediapart flyers, when the guy in front of me started talking to me. We talked for about an hour, then got in the room where I sat with my friends and he sat with his. We met up again at the end of the lecture, and decided on going on a date during the week (yeah, he's American, no French guy would have done that lol).
The date (drinks + dinner + walk around Paris) was great, until I realised the guy had no spontaneity whatsoever. He began to ask me during the walk if he could hold my hand. Then he asked if he could kiss my hand?? Then asked if he could kiss me. Come on, seriously? Where's the spontaneity?
Anyways, as you can guess, he didn't stop there, and here I am, three weeks later, with a "boyfriend" who sends me texts messages to ask if he can call me, which he does 20 times a day and.. you guessed it, it's not going to last any longer!!
Which brings me to my point: what is it with thirty-something male and their need for reassurance? I haven't gone out with a guy my age for years, exactly because I'm so bored with the 'young' types who need to be reassured every step of the way and need a second mommy.. To end up with what? Thirty-somethings who need a second mommy too. Yuk. And what's with these guys, why do they need to be so mellow? I'm going to start looking for a macho man, you know, one with hair, beer smell and beard, at least I won't be getting the mellow phone-calls then!!!
Abama Mama, darling, for the first time in aaaaaaaages, we've all contributed and you haven't! Don't forget to vote tomorrow! And come to Europe for christ' sake woman! It's easier to move one girl across the Atlantic than 3! Besides, don't you miss winter? It's almost winter here on our side of the pond, do come and experience again below 15 temperatures!! Come! We have Coca Cola too you know! Love you.
Divorcée my love, stop worrying so much. You love him he loves you.. Yes, the lovey-dovey moments are the best, but going into the more 'mature' moments of your relationship should reassure you that he's there for the long run. The "cooling down" moments you're experiencing are for you to feel happy about the fact that he's there, and make you more confident in your relationship.. not the other way around. I'm tempted to give you the same advice Bam gave you: find an activity to keep your mind occupied. You'll find that he thinks of you as often as you do.. when he's not working! Because you have too much time on your hands, your mind is on him 24/7. And we all know studying does not take your mind off things, it lets it wander even more! Sport is good, but some sports give you time to think all the same, chose them carefully! And how about this documentary-watching 'marathon' you once started? I'm pretty sure there's still plenty of these to watch..
Btw, thanks for the books you've lent my brother! I hadn't seen him read a book in such a long time!! (although I must also say that his computer cannot connect to the internet at home, which forces him also to find solace in other activities!) He seems to be enjoying them very much.
Anyways (yes, I still love this word, and I will use it as often as possible) see you young ladies on Friday, and Abama Mama, you'd better get in touch. I don't want to hear anything about this job of yours taking up your time, first of all you're working part-time, hence the other part of your time should be dedicated to contacting ME, also there's an economic crisis, I'm sure they can spare you for the duration of one overseas phone-call.
bisous bisous
Full House.
So, not only am I currently watching the show but also my house is definitely full. Lots of coming and going, in particularly by my brother. SIGH. Living with teenagers!?
Also, I'm typing this with the most digusting coloured bright pink nails - I was inspired last night after work to actually do something with my nails but the unfortunate combo of pink and metallic white that I decided might work didn't. And now I'm too lazy to take it off.
Really I had hoped to have nice nails for when I go to vote for Obama tomorrow - unfortunately he will have to accept my vote with garish whore nails unless I manage to locate my nail polish remover.
Soooooo.... I'm sure you're interested in what has been happening recently. Not much :-D As ever, Atlanta is full of married men and me working lots. I had a bbq for 5 the weekend my mum was in Charleston, which was nice. I had invited tons more people but I didn't actually manage to follow up on my invitation with anyone until the day - I clearly have to practice having parties more often. I've been spending time with - oh lord, I've forgotten what I named them. OH - Southern Gentleman, Toothpick Head Turtle guy and my A - not Div's A. And T Guy's roommate JS, who I also work with. I went to JS's gig a couple weeks ago and his band is actually quite good, so will try to follow up with more of that. Went to the movies, have done some shopping... typical American activities. Mostly I'm still preoccupied with getting our house fixed up - truly, with the financial crisis my mother has become a bit paranoid about the house and as she's hoping to make a profit I've been doing my best to help her plan and coordinate. We're currently working on the kitchen - as I have 2 weekdays off currently it's only fair that I wait for the electrician, the plumber, the cabinetmaker, the counter installers or the appliance delivery men when she is at work. Clearly it's a lot of waiting as these type of men never actually show up when they say they will. In between this though I did manage to go to the birthday of someone I work with - she's a DJ/real estate broker (yes, you can laugh) and the bar she dj's at once a month hosted the party for her. Unfortunately, she being a lesbian, it ended up with my being checked out by more than one very manly looking woman and our small group ended up in a corner table trying to ignore overzealous advances. Did run in to gay friend D who had just finished work at a local bar - and for some reason A and I thought it would be a fantastic idea to let him drive us home instead of taking a taxi. Unfortunately this resulted in a pitstop at a VERY dodgy bar that is fairly close to my house called Trackside. It's stickers on the wall, marker writing declaring people's existence... and one not so clean looking bathroom. Fortunately by this point I was feeling rather cheery after one too many gin and tonics (Hendrick's Gin - YAAY!) so I didn't really mind. We were chatting about A's boyfriend woes (long story but they live together and this is a situation that will not likely last much longer) and suddenly this weird redheaded guy came over and started hitting on her - D decides it's great to let him know that Elizabeth, as he introduced her, was currently jobless and had finished Texas State university with a degree in media but was currently looking for a job as a housekeeper. Umm.. this provided the gentleman in question with an interesting job proposition for A - and for the mans' companion to introduce himself to me. The companion in question was an honest to god Native American origin Kansas boy, fresh from the farm. Big blinding smile, drinking beer and trusting. Really really trusting. He didn't know the guy he was with very well but he didn't know anyone else in town and I didn't know what instinct to give in to - to feel terribly sorry for him, to feel like laughing at him or to to just let him find things out for himself. Small town boy in a big city and all that. Luckily I didn't have to decide as a brown concoction appeared in front of me, next to my beer, and I was told it was a shot. We couldn't be rude so................. I seem to remember it being referred to as a sexy beach. Not a sex on the beach. A sexy beach. Sexy beach my ass - the next morning I felt like a tsunami wave had knocked me over unconscious. I have not felt that sick since my record vodka night with Bam in the kitchen, followed by VE. I somehow got the guts up to go to work - spent the whole time on the train feeling like I was going to throw up on someone and it took me hours to recover. I kept trying to hide behind shelving when a customer approached me. Luckily, A didn't feel much better - something about hangovers together is reassuring.
It's also gotten really cold here - we have to wear sweaters and scarves. As I type, I'm sitting under a blanket and my fingers are freezing. This of course doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan to come visit me as it's still warmer here than there. The sun is shining, the leaves are beautiful colours and if we could find a table in the sun, we could still have lunch outside.
I've also started painting, gets my creative juices flowing.
Finally - I have hope for the intelligent single man. Saw an attractive man reading on the metro (Marta here!) and he was reading, drumroll please, 'Why I am Not a Christian' by Bertrand Russell. My heart did a flip, a dive and a hallelujah. They exist! Unfortunately I got off before he did and did not have much time to attempt to catch his eye. Still, I have hope.
Div honey, Bam is right about just letting it go. As much as I know you can't stop worrying about it, you have to know that worrying won't solve anything. You need time to yourself as much as you need time with him and yes, having a plan for your day is as vital as having free time to do nothing. Use the time to do what feels right for you.
Bam - oh my freakin god. You manage to attract the strangest men - and I thought you were going to potentially move in with S? Essentially - needs aside, are you going to live out the year with him? Don't think for a moment I'm being judgmental but you know, umm, a girl needs a place to put her hairdryer. I hold great hopes for the new D - just the potential is nice, as I'm sure you already appreciate. Also, much appreciated was the celeb gossip - pass it on to Perez ;)
Frenchie, I look forward to updates - and those promised photos of your trip. I understand they may be a bit x-rated for FB, but 3 or 4 can't hurt!
Many kisses to all of you - I dream often of when we'll next wine and dine together. There is nothing I miss more than seeing you after a day of work, or spending a whole evening watching the worst chick flicks ever made. I partially still overindulge in diet coke for all of the warm fuzzy memories.
Many kisses and hugs.
PS: I'll be back eventually, don't lose hope. Especially if McCain wins the election.
Also, I'm typing this with the most digusting coloured bright pink nails - I was inspired last night after work to actually do something with my nails but the unfortunate combo of pink and metallic white that I decided might work didn't. And now I'm too lazy to take it off.
Really I had hoped to have nice nails for when I go to vote for Obama tomorrow - unfortunately he will have to accept my vote with garish whore nails unless I manage to locate my nail polish remover.
Soooooo.... I'm sure you're interested in what has been happening recently. Not much :-D As ever, Atlanta is full of married men and me working lots. I had a bbq for 5 the weekend my mum was in Charleston, which was nice. I had invited tons more people but I didn't actually manage to follow up on my invitation with anyone until the day - I clearly have to practice having parties more often. I've been spending time with - oh lord, I've forgotten what I named them. OH - Southern Gentleman, Toothpick Head Turtle guy and my A - not Div's A. And T Guy's roommate JS, who I also work with. I went to JS's gig a couple weeks ago and his band is actually quite good, so will try to follow up with more of that. Went to the movies, have done some shopping... typical American activities. Mostly I'm still preoccupied with getting our house fixed up - truly, with the financial crisis my mother has become a bit paranoid about the house and as she's hoping to make a profit I've been doing my best to help her plan and coordinate. We're currently working on the kitchen - as I have 2 weekdays off currently it's only fair that I wait for the electrician, the plumber, the cabinetmaker, the counter installers or the appliance delivery men when she is at work. Clearly it's a lot of waiting as these type of men never actually show up when they say they will. In between this though I did manage to go to the birthday of someone I work with - she's a DJ/real estate broker (yes, you can laugh) and the bar she dj's at once a month hosted the party for her. Unfortunately, she being a lesbian, it ended up with my being checked out by more than one very manly looking woman and our small group ended up in a corner table trying to ignore overzealous advances. Did run in to gay friend D who had just finished work at a local bar - and for some reason A and I thought it would be a fantastic idea to let him drive us home instead of taking a taxi. Unfortunately this resulted in a pitstop at a VERY dodgy bar that is fairly close to my house called Trackside. It's stickers on the wall, marker writing declaring people's existence... and one not so clean looking bathroom. Fortunately by this point I was feeling rather cheery after one too many gin and tonics (Hendrick's Gin - YAAY!) so I didn't really mind. We were chatting about A's boyfriend woes (long story but they live together and this is a situation that will not likely last much longer) and suddenly this weird redheaded guy came over and started hitting on her - D decides it's great to let him know that Elizabeth, as he introduced her, was currently jobless and had finished Texas State university with a degree in media but was currently looking for a job as a housekeeper. Umm.. this provided the gentleman in question with an interesting job proposition for A - and for the mans' companion to introduce himself to me. The companion in question was an honest to god Native American origin Kansas boy, fresh from the farm. Big blinding smile, drinking beer and trusting. Really really trusting. He didn't know the guy he was with very well but he didn't know anyone else in town and I didn't know what instinct to give in to - to feel terribly sorry for him, to feel like laughing at him or to to just let him find things out for himself. Small town boy in a big city and all that. Luckily I didn't have to decide as a brown concoction appeared in front of me, next to my beer, and I was told it was a shot. We couldn't be rude so................. I seem to remember it being referred to as a sexy beach. Not a sex on the beach. A sexy beach. Sexy beach my ass - the next morning I felt like a tsunami wave had knocked me over unconscious. I have not felt that sick since my record vodka night with Bam in the kitchen, followed by VE. I somehow got the guts up to go to work - spent the whole time on the train feeling like I was going to throw up on someone and it took me hours to recover. I kept trying to hide behind shelving when a customer approached me. Luckily, A didn't feel much better - something about hangovers together is reassuring.
It's also gotten really cold here - we have to wear sweaters and scarves. As I type, I'm sitting under a blanket and my fingers are freezing. This of course doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan to come visit me as it's still warmer here than there. The sun is shining, the leaves are beautiful colours and if we could find a table in the sun, we could still have lunch outside.
I've also started painting, gets my creative juices flowing.
Finally - I have hope for the intelligent single man. Saw an attractive man reading on the metro (Marta here!) and he was reading, drumroll please, 'Why I am Not a Christian' by Bertrand Russell. My heart did a flip, a dive and a hallelujah. They exist! Unfortunately I got off before he did and did not have much time to attempt to catch his eye. Still, I have hope.
Div honey, Bam is right about just letting it go. As much as I know you can't stop worrying about it, you have to know that worrying won't solve anything. You need time to yourself as much as you need time with him and yes, having a plan for your day is as vital as having free time to do nothing. Use the time to do what feels right for you.
Bam - oh my freakin god. You manage to attract the strangest men - and I thought you were going to potentially move in with S? Essentially - needs aside, are you going to live out the year with him? Don't think for a moment I'm being judgmental but you know, umm, a girl needs a place to put her hairdryer. I hold great hopes for the new D - just the potential is nice, as I'm sure you already appreciate. Also, much appreciated was the celeb gossip - pass it on to Perez ;)
Frenchie, I look forward to updates - and those promised photos of your trip. I understand they may be a bit x-rated for FB, but 3 or 4 can't hurt!
Many kisses to all of you - I dream often of when we'll next wine and dine together. There is nothing I miss more than seeing you after a day of work, or spending a whole evening watching the worst chick flicks ever made. I partially still overindulge in diet coke for all of the warm fuzzy memories.
Many kisses and hugs.
PS: I'll be back eventually, don't lose hope. Especially if McCain wins the election.
From London With Love
Hey Honeys,
I've been thinking about contributing to our little diary for a few days now and as always someone managed to beat me to it. In this case Divorcee. On the subject of your couple life all I would really want to say is that you should let it all run its own course. As much as you worry you can't control him or life, so just relax, enjoy the ride and hope for the best. I know this is not the most amazing advice ever, but I think it's worth a try. Plus I think that what is really contributing to these feelings in a large way is boredom. And having been in the same position for more than 2 months I understand what it starts doing to your head. Get active like you were thinking and I'm almost 100% sure that things will fall in place!
Now on the subject of my life in "sunny" London...
As you all know I've been here properly since the beginning of September. In this time I've probably had the most roller-coaster time ever in terms of my emotional and physical state. I'm still officially jobless, but currently doing part-time work for the "big and magnificent" Harrods. More specifically their marketing department. Also probably going to do some actual sales assistant work for them few days a week. Continuing to look for an actual full time position, but feeling a bit less depressed than before as I actually do something during my days. :)
Now moving on to much more interesting subjects i.e. my personal and social life.
I am still living at Ns place, which is getting a bit strange. He likes having me around but in effect I feel like he is looking for something more serious with me than I would ever want. I'm sooooo thankful to him for taking me in and everything, but I just don't see him as anything else than a great friend. Obviously it doesn't help that we tend to share a bed quite a lot, but I am a single girl and I have my needs... ;)
I think that I wouldn't actually be worried about N as much as I am, if he wasn't showing classic jealous boyfriend signs. The most recent being that we had a party a few weeks back and I met one of his friends, who I had an instant connection with (I'll tell you more about that in the next paragraph) and so spent half the night talking with. The guy's is an actual full time artist so from here on I'll refer to him as The Painter. Anyway so The Painter asked me out and I chose not to say this to N, but of course he found out somehow and was slightly upset with me. He said that he was disappointed in me because I didn't tell him. Whatever I did my best to patch things up, although I still believe that he had no business in knowing who I go out with. In the end he finally calmed down when I said that I'm not really interested in seeing The Painter any longer.
So now more about The Painter. He was obviously older, but not in his 40 yet. He was also very sweet and although when we went to Tate Britain I felt like I was on a date with a professor, I still quite liked him. So anyway the first date we went out on lasted for like 10 hours, cause we ended up going for dinner and drinks and etc. Finally at the end of the night I found out that I had kissed him at the party. This shocked me as I was really drunk that night and had no recollection of that. How typical! So after I finally managed to get over that shock he asked me to come to dinner at his place. BTW he lives in like zone 500 and I actually had to take a train there (first signs of this never working out). Nonetheless I went there and we had a lovely dinner together. Obviously I assumed that when a guy asks a girl to come over he want's to get biblical in some way or another. Well what happened was that we were kissing on the bed and all of a sudden he pulls away and tells me that he needs to tell me something. Not surprisingly this was slightly worrying, but nothing could have prepared me for what he was going to say, which was (wait for it) that he hasn't had sex in a while. Clarifying a while- IN 10 YEARS. I almost fell of the bed!!! I did try to reassure him that it was fine, but then he turned all girly on me saying that he wants to talk to me to feel more comfortable. I went with it, although in the end I wish I didn't as I didn't get any sleep all night because we had to talk and finally in the morning when we still hadn't had sex and he started making strange remarks about our future, I told him straight up that I'm not looking for a serious relationship. You should have seen his face. I swear I could actually see tears in the corner of his eyes. I finally managed to make my escape a few hours later after we walked around the park for an hour- him holding my hand (I felt there was a limit to how cruel I could be). So that much for dating artistic loner types!
As much as some of my dating experiences have been slightly strange lately there is also light at the end of the tunnel as I have actually met someone who I really like and who my newly married blond friend S calls boyfriend material. His name is D, he's French (I know very strange as I said I'd never date one) and actually in his late 20's (working in banking). Met him outside a nightclub with S on a girly night out. Actually S was shamelessly flirting with D's friend H and we were just standing around freezing. Later on I went as a buffer to a dinner with S and H and guess what his friend D ended up joining us. I had long decided that he didn't really fancy me and as it turned out he thought the same about me. Another week later and he actually got my number from S and called me up. All was going well except that he is on holiday in Australia for another 2 weeks, so whatever potential there is might disappear by the time he is back. We'll see! At least for now I'm feeling pretty happy!!! :)
Ok girlies I'm sure I have more stuff to tell you, but I'm sick of typing. Am going over to SE1 tonight to see Divorcee. Hopefully we won't get too carried away as I have work tomorrow. On the other hand you only live once!
I miss all of you terribly! London is not the same with you guys! Love ya!!!!!!
bam bam
PS! Completely forgot to tell you this... Went out with a French movie producer friend of mine on Halloween. We ended up going to this new club Vendome and I met on of his friends an actress called Vivienne. Talked to her for a while and found out that she is dating Guy Richie for the last 2 months. Also supposed reason for the Guy and Madge divorce is that Madge has a lover in New York for like the past year. Also this supposed lover is a girl! Lol
-Sorry for the typos! Really not feeling like rereading all of this!-
I've been thinking about contributing to our little diary for a few days now and as always someone managed to beat me to it. In this case Divorcee. On the subject of your couple life all I would really want to say is that you should let it all run its own course. As much as you worry you can't control him or life, so just relax, enjoy the ride and hope for the best. I know this is not the most amazing advice ever, but I think it's worth a try. Plus I think that what is really contributing to these feelings in a large way is boredom. And having been in the same position for more than 2 months I understand what it starts doing to your head. Get active like you were thinking and I'm almost 100% sure that things will fall in place!
Now on the subject of my life in "sunny" London...
As you all know I've been here properly since the beginning of September. In this time I've probably had the most roller-coaster time ever in terms of my emotional and physical state. I'm still officially jobless, but currently doing part-time work for the "big and magnificent" Harrods. More specifically their marketing department. Also probably going to do some actual sales assistant work for them few days a week. Continuing to look for an actual full time position, but feeling a bit less depressed than before as I actually do something during my days. :)
Now moving on to much more interesting subjects i.e. my personal and social life.
I am still living at Ns place, which is getting a bit strange. He likes having me around but in effect I feel like he is looking for something more serious with me than I would ever want. I'm sooooo thankful to him for taking me in and everything, but I just don't see him as anything else than a great friend. Obviously it doesn't help that we tend to share a bed quite a lot, but I am a single girl and I have my needs... ;)
I think that I wouldn't actually be worried about N as much as I am, if he wasn't showing classic jealous boyfriend signs. The most recent being that we had a party a few weeks back and I met one of his friends, who I had an instant connection with (I'll tell you more about that in the next paragraph) and so spent half the night talking with. The guy's is an actual full time artist so from here on I'll refer to him as The Painter. Anyway so The Painter asked me out and I chose not to say this to N, but of course he found out somehow and was slightly upset with me. He said that he was disappointed in me because I didn't tell him. Whatever I did my best to patch things up, although I still believe that he had no business in knowing who I go out with. In the end he finally calmed down when I said that I'm not really interested in seeing The Painter any longer.
So now more about The Painter. He was obviously older, but not in his 40 yet. He was also very sweet and although when we went to Tate Britain I felt like I was on a date with a professor, I still quite liked him. So anyway the first date we went out on lasted for like 10 hours, cause we ended up going for dinner and drinks and etc. Finally at the end of the night I found out that I had kissed him at the party. This shocked me as I was really drunk that night and had no recollection of that. How typical! So after I finally managed to get over that shock he asked me to come to dinner at his place. BTW he lives in like zone 500 and I actually had to take a train there (first signs of this never working out). Nonetheless I went there and we had a lovely dinner together. Obviously I assumed that when a guy asks a girl to come over he want's to get biblical in some way or another. Well what happened was that we were kissing on the bed and all of a sudden he pulls away and tells me that he needs to tell me something. Not surprisingly this was slightly worrying, but nothing could have prepared me for what he was going to say, which was (wait for it) that he hasn't had sex in a while. Clarifying a while- IN 10 YEARS. I almost fell of the bed!!! I did try to reassure him that it was fine, but then he turned all girly on me saying that he wants to talk to me to feel more comfortable. I went with it, although in the end I wish I didn't as I didn't get any sleep all night because we had to talk and finally in the morning when we still hadn't had sex and he started making strange remarks about our future, I told him straight up that I'm not looking for a serious relationship. You should have seen his face. I swear I could actually see tears in the corner of his eyes. I finally managed to make my escape a few hours later after we walked around the park for an hour- him holding my hand (I felt there was a limit to how cruel I could be). So that much for dating artistic loner types!
As much as some of my dating experiences have been slightly strange lately there is also light at the end of the tunnel as I have actually met someone who I really like and who my newly married blond friend S calls boyfriend material. His name is D, he's French (I know very strange as I said I'd never date one) and actually in his late 20's (working in banking). Met him outside a nightclub with S on a girly night out. Actually S was shamelessly flirting with D's friend H and we were just standing around freezing. Later on I went as a buffer to a dinner with S and H and guess what his friend D ended up joining us. I had long decided that he didn't really fancy me and as it turned out he thought the same about me. Another week later and he actually got my number from S and called me up. All was going well except that he is on holiday in Australia for another 2 weeks, so whatever potential there is might disappear by the time he is back. We'll see! At least for now I'm feeling pretty happy!!! :)
Ok girlies I'm sure I have more stuff to tell you, but I'm sick of typing. Am going over to SE1 tonight to see Divorcee. Hopefully we won't get too carried away as I have work tomorrow. On the other hand you only live once!
I miss all of you terribly! London is not the same with you guys! Love ya!!!!!!
bam bam
PS! Completely forgot to tell you this... Went out with a French movie producer friend of mine on Halloween. We ended up going to this new club Vendome and I met on of his friends an actress called Vivienne. Talked to her for a while and found out that she is dating Guy Richie for the last 2 months. Also supposed reason for the Guy and Madge divorce is that Madge has a lover in New York for like the past year. Also this supposed lover is a girl! Lol
-Sorry for the typos! Really not feeling like rereading all of this!-
dear diary.
dear diary, it has been a long time since my last confession. too long. longlonglonglonglong. i believe i am now back among the living because i can actually feel that london is making me feel a bit down again. (note that there was no such actual feeling a while ago when everything exploded).
news? me and A entered the state of an old married couple yesterday when we met up to go and see the fireworks and afterwards both went our separate ways (home) and the worrying-bit... were both relieved about being able to be alone. is that terrible? does it mean the beginning of the end? am constantly scared of losing him, him getting bored of me, etc... what on earth have i become? since when am i the clingy person who asks "so when do i see you next"... since today, on the phone.
am wondering that perhaps i've got a little too much time on my hands. since getting back to london and after A's birthday trip to barcelona and my trip to iceland, i'm not really doing much. feels weird. the whole film thing in est ended with such a rush and it feels weird not to be busy doing something i love. so i try to write a little and read stuff for my dissertation but there is a kind of block in the air. don't know. and at the same time i'm scared of ending up where i did last spring. so the plan is to become more physically active. tonight is yoga. tomorrow i'm trying mountain climbing. perhaps it is only structure to my days that i need.
oh dear diary.... please save me from myself.
i wanted to talk about frenchie... the other day her brother came over to pick up some stuff and i swear i have never, ever, seen a brother admire and miss his older sister more. seriously. my old nostalgic and emotional self just wanted to shed a tear and my new melancholic self nearly did.
i write this, and once again feel that maybe i'm in love with everything around me. but this time it's no longer the first, intense, all-consuming love, but just calm and admiring. i miss you guys. seriously, there is noone to remind me that i'm getting too touchy-feely... is that how you spell it?
bam-bam called me this morning when i was in bed with fever. i will now call her back and pray that she does not expect me to leave my beloved, yet over-priced, se1.
and frenchie is coming on friday. heard this and my heart skipped a beat.
a'bama mama...COME BAAAAAAAACK. do you not hear me shouting it out loud across the mountains and seas like miss eyre did? COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. come back to us.
oh, dear diary, i am ever so lucky to have the friends that i have. even if we are not all in the room.
news? me and A entered the state of an old married couple yesterday when we met up to go and see the fireworks and afterwards both went our separate ways (home) and the worrying-bit... were both relieved about being able to be alone. is that terrible? does it mean the beginning of the end? am constantly scared of losing him, him getting bored of me, etc... what on earth have i become? since when am i the clingy person who asks "so when do i see you next"... since today, on the phone.
am wondering that perhaps i've got a little too much time on my hands. since getting back to london and after A's birthday trip to barcelona and my trip to iceland, i'm not really doing much. feels weird. the whole film thing in est ended with such a rush and it feels weird not to be busy doing something i love. so i try to write a little and read stuff for my dissertation but there is a kind of block in the air. don't know. and at the same time i'm scared of ending up where i did last spring. so the plan is to become more physically active. tonight is yoga. tomorrow i'm trying mountain climbing. perhaps it is only structure to my days that i need.
oh dear diary.... please save me from myself.
i wanted to talk about frenchie... the other day her brother came over to pick up some stuff and i swear i have never, ever, seen a brother admire and miss his older sister more. seriously. my old nostalgic and emotional self just wanted to shed a tear and my new melancholic self nearly did.
i write this, and once again feel that maybe i'm in love with everything around me. but this time it's no longer the first, intense, all-consuming love, but just calm and admiring. i miss you guys. seriously, there is noone to remind me that i'm getting too touchy-feely... is that how you spell it?
bam-bam called me this morning when i was in bed with fever. i will now call her back and pray that she does not expect me to leave my beloved, yet over-priced, se1.
and frenchie is coming on friday. heard this and my heart skipped a beat.
a'bama mama...COME BAAAAAAAACK. do you not hear me shouting it out loud across the mountains and seas like miss eyre did? COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. come back to us.
oh, dear diary, i am ever so lucky to have the friends that i have. even if we are not all in the room.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
