The climb and fall of the Mama empire, or How Alabama Mama fell off the family wagon.

Well, I've gone and done it - totally renegged on being the new positive Mama.
I was in a really good place with my summer coming up. To cope with the family run-ins I had set myself up to do the decorationg for my Dad's wedding (which I don't want to attend, if you are not aware of this) and it was all going to be peachy keen and I was going to really enjoy it. I spent two days researching affordable decorations, got excited and finally sent over an email with decoration ideas weeks ago and I was told I would get an email response. Nothing, nothing. Finally sent a text a few days ago asking what was up, that time's a passin' and I need to boogie if I'm going to get good deals on stuff etc.
Today I get an email from my dad saying his fiance's daughters K+P were also saying they they were getting worried about a lack of planning and so he wants the three of us to powwow, that they'll set a budget and leave the rest up to us. Only the man doesn't seem to realise that those two girls are all part of the main reason I'm against this wedding. I know I probably sound like a bitch but you guys know me: as much as I will happily talk the tail off a Southern pony (I just made that up to sound like the Southern hick I'm becoming, FYI) I'm also a very personal/occasionally shy person. I don't want another branch of family and I don't want to act like family with people I don't know at all. So, I don't want step-sisters and step uncles and step aunts and a stepmother. If I don't know them I don't want to be affiliated with them. I'm not exactly sure how I was going to survive the wedding portion of this other than that I have told my brother that if he leaves me alone during the ceremony I'm going to kill him and also the Nazi (have we thought of a new nickname for her???? It seems wrong now!) is my date to the big party (don't think dad knows that but I don't care). And finally I've also become self-conscious about my Estonian, which is EXTREMELY rusty from lack of use.

So what did I do? I emailed back and said I'm going to be really busy in the next few weeks and won't have time to chat a lot. I said let K and P do the organising and let me know if I can bring something. Part of me hopes he'll realise what's going on and let me do my thing without talking to them. Part of me feels guilty for backing out of his big day. Part of me is horrified that it will now be a terribly gauche affair and that I'll spend the whole day thinking how I could have done it better. Part of me is sad. Part of me really wants to cry. Part of me is just really angry that I consented to go to this thing. And part of me is really pissed off.
Mostly I just wish it was over already.

Girlies, come sooner. I need a jug of wine and a hug.

Well... ya'll may or may not know that living in the Deep South has renewed my love of country music so you may or may not appreciate the following post. Because I'm particularly excited about this summer - going for broke and seeing you all ;-) - and the prospect of Div visiting - I've really been feeling this Taylor Swift song. Just reminding me of good friends and good times and... well, yeah. Went to my friend M's on Tuesday with my A for girl talk and a movie. We supposed to go to the cinema but M just had a baby and had just had a sleep consultant in to finally help with the baby's sleeping patterns (this kid is high maintenance, I tell you) and anyway, they had to stay home, so we went over there to rescue her from herself. And throughout the girlie talk we discussed A's first sight of a turtleneck at the Kentucky Derby (we're talking a non-Jewish man here) and pink drinks and work and.. you know. The Girl Stuff. And despite my life coming up to a year and a half of low activity (god forbid, if I don't find a job this year I'm going to set myself up like a homeless person with a cardboard sign listing my credentials and sit on a corner for days on end...)

But anyway, I wanted to share what I'm listening to because it's making me feel good. Just thinking about friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_VI2cIgqwc

OMG - and I totally just re-discovered this!!!!!

Some more songs from London.

Just bc I was already on Youtube and I was suddenly inspired...

Songs from London

BBC News headline: Alabama Mama coming back to Europe

Well, for a little while.

I would like to publicly announce the proposed dates for my re-emergence in Europe. I will be touring London from the early morning of Saturday the 25th of July until Wednesday the 29th mid-morning. I will then fly to Tallinn on the Wednesday and remain there until Thursday the 6th, upon which I will return to London for the night and fly back to my adopted hometown on the Friday.

Realistically I would like to not have to stay in a cardboard box near any of the bridges or with my relatives in Hampshire (gasp shock HORROR - it's like Freddy Krueger let loose in my intestines staying with my Aunt) so I would love to know if anyone would be willing to put me up?
My only definite plans for a stay in London involve seeing my Grandmother during the day on Monday and Tuesday so I was hoping, nay, praying that Frenchie could also grace London with her presence and we could make it a reunion?

I now expect you to have fallen off your chairs/beds/floors with excitement and therefore can continue under the radar as I have no other news to report. All is the same and rather boring my side of the pond. No men, no job. Oh, a new baby in the group of friends... but that's not really very interesting to anyone who doesn't know the baby's mum.

I'm preparing my wardrobe and testing my shoes... oh, and helping organise the wedding (150 people in my poor Tallinn house).

I hope to hear from someone with accommodation offers soon - or else remember that I might be killed in my sleep when a hateful relative creeps up on me, hoping to steal my inheritance and give it to her son.

Much love to you all,

AM

We had some artistic differences...

I hope you enjoy the show! :)