On essay writing and other such activities

It is an accepted fact that essay writing undermines our own intelligence and uses that of philosophers and other such theorists of excrement to outline something which we personally never wished to outline in the first place. If I needed to, I could presently use the philosophy of Walter Benjamin and Derrida to write a convincing argument for the existence of aliens. Are they arguing for the existence of aliens? No. But I could write it and 75% if the essay's readers would nod their heads and try to follow my train of thought and debate for themselves whether aliens exist, debating for or against my own arguments (ie, the arguments of others).

BULLSHIT.

I am presently debating Aristotle's morals in terms of 30's movies (a la Cary Grant) and also, in parallel, discussing the charms of Walter Benjamin's aura.
WHAT FUCKING AURA? If we don't choose to believe it, it might not even exist. How about I debate that? How about I debate how philosophy touches so few lives today that Aristotle's influence over our lives is merely only when we are forced to read his miserable epistles (all 4000 pages of them) and then because of the pain inflicted upon us while reading the greek translations we close the books never to think of them again?
That is precisely what my degree has taught me - think for myself because when I let others think for me I end up spouting words I myself don't even understand.

So let's get back to the matter at hand. Bam Bam and Divorcee and I are sitting in our local, pretending to write when actually we're copy-pasting Wikipedia and changing words so as to pretend its not plagiarism. Don't get me wrong - we're intelligent people. I can debate much of the philosophy I pretend to read, however I don't see how that's going to help me NOW when I have cleaning to do and, from tomorrow, a mother to entertain. Why can't they just grade us on the conversations we have in class? I swear I would speak more - Scouts honour!

Meanwhile, all these essays are giving me is a sugar rush and a determination to become a bigger alcoholic than I already am. Is that possible? Now that is an argument I feel the need to debate.