I have a demented family.
I tell you this now because I just logged on to Facebook and was checking all my usual things - wall, notifications, new pictures added - when I notice I have two new messages in my inbox. One was a typical 'Hiiii, how are youuuuuuuu. What are you dooooing' type message - and the other is from a Rachel Surname-MYSurname. So of course, my first reaction is 'that's quite odd - it's not a common surname. Maybe she's a distant relative from, I don't know, California' (I have relatives there).
As a matter of fact, my cousin D got married to this girl and SOMEBODY forgot to tell my mom and I. We weren't invited to the wedding, there was no announcement, no nothing. This I found out only as I was in such shock that I called my mother's US cell phone and ranted down the line about not being told anything - to which she said my uncle had only said he THOUGHT D was getting married. (The joys of divorce and adopted kids).
I'm absolutely appalled at the way my family functions and I have now vowed not to invite them either. Even if I wed Prince Harry, they won't find out about it until after and only then will I send them a picture of our kids and tell them they weren't selected to be godparents because the secret service found out they were idiots.
As much as I say much of this in jest, it's truly cemented the fact that I pity my uncle for having such undeserving kids. No wonder he's always liked me. I have a degree (oh yes, I got my results. Not much worth mentioning THERE), I have a JOB, I have prospects, I understand culture and I'm terrifically interesting.
Sigh. Actually my family is the perfect example of the new urban family ideal - there is none, family means nothing and, in the end, it's everyone for himself.

In further news, I've spent this past week drinking too much, which is a far cry from my usual summer output of 'world's greatest DVD watcher'. In fact, I was v v drunk last night but woke up with no hangover, unlike J, and now remember calling Divorcee and Bam Bam at about 2 am my time - I believe they were having a Meg and Tom moment? Anyway girls, sorry.
I don't know why I'm even writing this as you lot can't be bothered to write anything and I'm feeling dejected and unloved. No one pities me here alone with Kennedy (he was in a RIGHT mood this morning - might have had something to do with his being sober last night and having to put up with our antics). Furthermore, the smoking ban has come in - today it seems like a good thing because my throat feels like I stuffed cigarettes down it and they haven't evaporated yet. Maybe I'll give up today?

PS: I've set my day for leaving I think. Freaky.