conversations.....

D: Say something!
AM: Do you want me to type? I type faster.
BB: God, you're such freaks.
D: Oh, you have to put that in!
AM: I AM. So here we go...
D: *squeals of laughter*
BB: So what are we talking about exactly?
D: Four minus one.
BB:The saddest moment of our history? Especially when another individual left a year ago (The Nazi), no one cared. It's actually quite sad how shallow we are.
D:I'm not shallow, I'm just happy. Aah. Mama aren't you gonna add something?
BB: A little somethin' somethin'?
AM: I would - except I'm busy typing.
BB: But hello, you were supposed to be paying attention!
D: I'm very much into losing the 'g' today.
AM: So how do we feel without Frenchie?
BB: We feel not loved.
D: I think she SHOULD come back and clean up the flat. I actually offered to clean myself.
BB: You stupid person.
AM: So 6 bags huh - not including handbag?
D: So how are you feeling. I'm an al-co-ho-lic
AM: I'm feeling like I'm sick of you two already.
BB: Well, you're not talking really, are you.
D: She did that on purpose because she wants to add something. Now I'm annoyed. You're not sick of us.. yet.
BB: If she's sick she can leave.
D: Says the vegetarian of the year.
BB: I'm not the vegetarian of the year yet.
D: You're a finalist! SIGH. Can we call A and get some weed please...
BB: You can call her.
AM: Can you get back to the topic now.
D: Who, Frenchie? Well the point was to report this whole conversation but i guess you're not able to do that, are you.
I refuse to accept that she's left.
BB: I think I probably won't realise it until next week.
D: Well, I'll realise it when I'm really sick of you guys.
BB: Don't worry, I'll be really busy doing other things when you realise it.
D: *Evil look to BB* What would you prefer to be hit with?
BB: A pack of cigarettes!
D: I KNEW you would say that. (To AM) TYPE AWAAAAAAY!

*AM reads text back to girls*

BB: Do we really sounds like that?
AM: So what are we doing now?
D: I'm smoking, BB is asking for a cigarette and doing something on the Mac.
D: Do you know AM, when I called you and asked you to buy cigarettes, your flatmate said she didn't want to smoke.
BB: I didn't say that.
D: You sounded like you didn't want to smoke.
BB: If you thought that you were demented.
*They begin to discuss something about moo's in the field*

Ok, It's Mama now. I can't focus on these people any more. They sound like they're high even without the greenery. * To BB: What's 'koik voolab' in English?* So yeah, Frenchie, panta rhei darling.

D: (o BB) Maybe I'll actually make it to your birthday this year.
BB: You better.
D: Maybe I better start using my 2007 calendar. Ooh, I found a feather.
BB: Do you have a chicken living here? If so, oh my god I can't be here.
*Divorcee puts feather on Mama's hand and she brushes it to the floor*
D: Did you just .. ch ch ch ch!?
BB: Did you what? (Looks at AM)
D: (To no one) I just farted a little.
BB: So did the man continue farting next to you yesterday?
D: Yeah, but it got better because I kept sniffing at him so I think he got that he should hold it in.*D laughs like an idiot.*
D: God, do you feel like you're high?
BB: I feel like you're high.
*BTW, typing and not talking isn't fun*
BB: How's Alabama Mama doing? Missin Dwight?
AM: No.
BB: I wonder how long Dwight and Jake are going to be on that fishing trip (referring to odd cross-dressing incident after watching 'She's the Man'). Maybe they'll bring back a whale.
D: Then you'll have to cook a whale.
BB: See, I'm not married to Jake. I won't have to cook it.
D: That would need a large pot
BB: Hey, remember the whale stuck in the Thames?
D: Willie?
BB: Why did it die again?
D: (With a straight face) Because everyone was looking at it.
AM: No, it had some kind of disease.
D: And the river water wasn't good.
AM: Actually, when the whale was stuck I was staying at Frenchie's and Nazi's and I was so worried about it. So when Frenchie and I were up late and watching the news and it hadn't been saved yet, after I went to bed she left me a note giving me the update on it. So cute.

*more conversation AM didn't manage to type. It was all about 'no fuck'.*
*Girls in tears after reading previous conversation*

D: This conversation is missing a few links in between.
BB: But we're remembereing nice things about Frenchie.
D: If we keep mentioning her shoes and things, it's almost like we're talking to her.* Divorcee makes weird gestures*
AM: You know she's not dead. You're talking about her like she was.
BB: Well, she's in another country.
D: We should do this like every day. Type all our conversations. Oh, BB, go to the kitchen quickly! Seriously.
BB: What do you want. (Her face is spelling hate)
D: Diet coke. Otherwise I'm going to die like Willie.
BB: You'd die because you're not moving?
D: No, because everyone is looking at me.
Gimme a word that ends in a g.
AM: Fucking.
D: Fuckin. gimme more. Ooh, sleepin.
BB:Touchin, feelin, hopin, dreamin...

*AM sings 'Wishin and Hoping' by Ani DiFranco*

D: That's like my song, it has so many missing g's.
*Pause*
D: We should discuss politics now.
BB: Yeah, that will bring us closer.
D: To each other? Closer to WHAT?
BB: To Frenchie!
*AM says someting about socialism*
D: Did you just say something intelligent? All I heard was socialist. Oh my god, the prawn just jumped out of the water. (She's referring to burping after she ate prawns)
AM: What about the sweet and sour sauce? Did that jump too?
D: I didn't have any. It might taste a little sweet and maybe a little sour but it's not a sweet and sour.
AM: It's sweet chilli. Fine.
BB: New topic - you know Saatchi and Saatchi? It has its own pub named 'The Pregnant Man'.
D: Don't you know that Sting has his own pub.
BB: You know that Bono has his own pub too.
AM: Well we know Bono is the answer to everything.
BB: He is.
D: Yeah he is. Really! *Sigh* I know this great pub.
AM: Really. What pub?
D: John Smith's Extra Smooth.
AM: Is that the pub in your head? Aah. It's the pub in your hand (she's drinking from the glass that says John Smith's Extra Smooth).
D: You know what I think?
BB: No, I really don't.
D: I think you should log on to the AA page. Not the car service. The alcoholics.
BB: And?
D: Check if they're looking for the sexiest ex-alcoholic and see if you can be nominated.
AM: EX alcoholic?
BB: Yeah, I like the whole being on the wrong side of the tracks. Does the AA have a webpage?
D: AA.com.
BB: Oh yeah, they do.
AM: How is it?
BB: I'm checking, oh wait, I have to check the English one.

*Divorcee is in a space shuttle. She's holding the glass over her mouth and speaking in to it*

BB: You sound like 'siil udus' (the hedgehog in the fog)
D: 'siil udus' didn't talk.
BB: What is alcoholics anonymous? Staying sober? Ooh, the 'Information for friends and family' page. Yeah, we'll do the friends and family bit. Oh no... it's like a group. That's so boring. Wait, there's a test!!! 'Do you think you might be an alcoholic'!?

*Break for the test*

Turns out Divorcee is an alcoholic. If you answer yes to more than 1 thing you could be an alcoholic, two and you're probably an alcoholic. Three - you're definitely an alcoholic and seek help. She said yes 8 times before she realised this. She's seeking help from the Smooth John Smith's glass. (AM)

Frenchie - did you find your skirt?

PS. I love you Frenchie. (by D) We love you too. Probably more. (by Alabama Mama and Bam Bam)