Ok. So yesterday was a Saturday, right? Yeah. Beautiful weather, truly gorgeous.
Well, BB and I started off with a light lunch about 2.30 pm. We went to Borough, bought naughty naughty Bratwursts (yum) and a Corona each and found a nice spot in the shade by the river where the ever-present London pigeons and tourists tried to attack us, each in their own way. We had a lovely hour's chat before B was supposed to go to S's for creative study. But then it turned out S had a hangover - a biggie. So we went for another Corona at a famous London venue, the Anchor. With a view over the Thames from it's rather large terrace, it was the perfect place for our planned calm Saturday. The only glitch of course was that AM texted P and he misunderstood her and thought she wanted to meet that evening. Unfortunately, she and B weren't averse to this idea and so entertained themselves with people-watching for the next two hours (actually, we were looking for cute shoes) and a few more Coronas. When P arrived, we were fairly merry, perhaps bc a group of Pirates seemed to be on a beer crawl and had some fantastic costumes. One even had a magic compass - if it pointed at you, the pirate absolutely HAD to kiss you. He approached B with some joy and told her that his kiss would cost a pound. She gave him the famous Bam look and he then said that for her, of course, all his kisses would be free. Anyway, the arrow didn't point at her and he looked rather unhappy as he moved on. Poor boy.

So anyway, when P arrived we were fairly merry, as we said before. Had a chat but were looking for a table (we had previously been sitting on a stone bench in the main thoroughway) and finally found one. A couple more rounds later a young gentleman of dubious being decided to vomit practically next to our table. Enough was enough - P spied another table and leaned on his bench to get up - upon which the WHOLE table dipped. B jumped and ran for the hills (figuratively of course) screaming like a banchee. P just stood, watching his phone being drenched in beer. AM unfortunately got the worst of the downpour - as she said later 'I'm covered in beer from my boobs to my shoes'. It was about 20 glasses of beer, water and other mixed interesting looking things (the wait staff wasn't being particularly efficient). The one thing she managed to save, strangely enough, was her own drink. Not her bag, not her cigarettes, her drink. A lovely (non-attractive) gentleman came to save the phone after his friends screamed, what else, but 'The phone! Save the phone!' but we later realised, to no avail. The phone was not to be saved. P is YET AGAIN, not in contact by telephone, the idiot. So anyway, at least now we had a table with a view, no matter that AM looked strangely like a wet dog and everyone else on the terrace kept asking what happened as it had been the highlight in the entertainment of the evening. P was dispatched for more drinks to calm our nerves but that didn't help and after all the attention, we thought it was best to leave.

A taxi ride later, we found ourselves at our usual haunt, VE. We quickly found a table and, as BB says, 'That's where it all went downhill, pretty much'. Too much wine and a smoky atmosphere later, after the lovely feeling of outdoors by the Thames, we were pissed. BB wanted drugs, P wanted drugs, AM started her anti-drugs campaigning (in a very pissed 'You do want you want, assholes') and in the end, no one got them. BB went home and bought oven pizza which she promptly stuck in the micro. AM and P stayed a while longer and stumbled towards the minicab office, making rude comments to the couple that dared not get a room, and contemplating a kebab. Neither materialised but P rode off in to the depths of South London and AM joined BB in making the only food they had at home.

Update: Both girls are now at home sunbathing on the roof, rather hungover. It was, however, a TOP night! (if you know what we mean)

Love to Frenchie, in gay Paree, and Divorcee, prancing about in the hills of Derbyshire. You may have just narrowly escaped our evening but you were always in our minds. Especially as we would have rather you had been balancing the table on the other side - then we wouldn't have been drenched, bitches!

Postscript:
As we were putting the laptop inside, BB spotted a pigeon not 6 feet away. Eew! We screamed.
BB: It looks kinda different.
AM: That's because there's clean ones and dirty ones.