"While I am sane I shall compare nothing to the joy of a friend."
Horace, Satires
According to a stupid girly tests website which name I can't recall,
'my inner goddess is Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty', who unfortunately happened to be married to the ugliest of gods, the limp smithy Hephaestus. The legend also states that she had many affairs with men ("both human and divine") and truly, who could blame her if her husband was, indeed, the ugliest of all. But in my opinion (and after a good two hours on the internet) I believe myself to be a mix between Freya, (goddess of love, magic, and divination), and Ishtar (the Babylonian goddess of love, procreation, and war). Freya was "loved by men, giants, and dwarves" which I think could be widely understood as a highly probable (albeit hilarious and quite realistic) description of my past and present admirers. As history goes, "by sleeping with four dwarves she acquired the Brisings necklace" and I can indeed picture myself sleeping with a dwarf in exchange for a necklace, (I have very flexible morals), as long as the thousands of diamonds covering it have been certified beforehand. Ishtar (the other half of my wonderfully schizophrenic inner goddess) was known for destroying her lovers, which I am ashamed to claim I have done in the past (and might as well do again, as Ishtar needs practice.. otherwise she gets extremely bored, and trust me, you do not wish to see a bored goddess)!
As I then spent much time researching ancient goddesses, I took the liberty to assign one to each one of my fellow bloggers, admitedly absolutely arbitrarily, based on my (surely biased) perception of their love lives, admirers (past and present), sexuality, general behaviour, and hopefully a good dose of humour.
So I've had to assign the Roman goddess of love and beauty Venus to La Divorcée. First of all, because she was originally an Italic goddess of vegetation and patron of gardens, and I thought that it suited her (especially after her little trip to Derbyshire) very well. Also, Venus was a goddess of chastity, although her love affairs included a marriage to Vulcan and an affair with Mars. As you might have noticed, Venus is Aphrodite's Roman counterpart, AND her husband was the god of fire and the forge, a place which must have been uncomfortable and extremely noisy (and was he too, a drama-queen?) hence driving his wife away from (her home and) his ugliness into the arms of the arms of a much younger, hotter, god. It is even reported that they divorced.
Bam Bam, of course could have easily been assigned Venus or Aphrodite, the 'most beautiful goddesses of all'. But I decided to choose the seductive goddess Oshun instead, who "embodied love and fertility" and got into people's heart and souls to make them "experience love as a sensual journey". She was perceived as a sweet, giving, self-confident, playful goddess, who liked beautiful things and used them to her advantage, sometimes mistaken for a female Narcisse (over-invested in her own beauty) when she was, in fact, always prepared to sacrifice her 'feathers' for the sake of the crowd.
Finally, to A'bama Mama I assigned the Hindu goddess Gauri, to whom young women prayed for a sensitive, devoted mate. Gauri herself, was a devoted lover and family member who 'trusted that good things come to those who wait'. Gauri had faith in the sanctity of love, and was willing to sacrifice quite a bit to be with her beloved. Her commitment was seen as admirable and rare, and the goddess was believed to have been rewarded with an inner calm that could withstand even the stormiest circumstances.
Now, I'd like to mention to my fellow A.U. that I, quite on the contrary, do not consider these episodes as 'extra' or 'bonus' ones (which by the way will soon exceed in length and content the so-called seasonal episodes).
First of all, we have all agreed on the fact that series should NOT have 'summer breaks' leaving us un-entertained (i.e. extremely bored) when we have the most free time on our hands (forget about the free time for those of us who are working full-time over the summer, but they are too in great - greater?- need of entertainment).
For the very same reason, summer is actually The Season, when we get to loose (admitedly very little) weight, get waxed often and extensively, get even drunker than before (no need to wake up early the next day, nor the one after that, nor the.. -see the pattern?- ) and finally, finally, have something happening in our usually non-interesting lives, things which for once should be mentioned in the blog, and might catch a reader's poodle-like' attention-span (other than our own)... So, I'm campaigning for these 'bonus' episodes to either become a new full season of their own Or be a complete part of season two (three? I'm lost!)..
I have decided today that my blog entry shall be a colourful one, as you might have noticed. You my dears know my obsession with colorful stripes (oh, how I wish I could be the illegitimate daughter of Paul Smith and Sonia Rykiel!!!) and stars. As I can hardly write in stars, I have therefore decided to create a colourful stripe-y impression on my blog entry. Voilà!
To go back to the title, when I started this entry I had my head full of meaningful things to write about sexuality, A'bama Mama, La Divorcée and French Practices. Right now, they seem to be gone, evaporated as my brain (yep, I do have one, I checked - when I move my head sideways, I do not hear the sound a pea would make in an empty cavity) increasingly lacks sugar. I believe I'm going through withdrawal symptoms, as my mom has banned biscuit, chocolate, or indeed anything sugary (fruits excepted, but they're vegetables, not sugar!) from the house. Grr. And in France off-liscences do close, and more often than not around midnight, which means that even if I had the courage to go out in a desperate attempt to procure my daily fix, I may not get it anyways. Grr.
The only things I remember are:
I am very happy for La Divorcée that Frank (Fred?) is back in her life. Even more so because he was kind enough to wait for me to vacate the premises before he made a much-acclaimed reappearance, for which I am extremely grateful.
I am also very happy that A'bama Mama has come to terms with what she wants (a fruit-picker with a brain), that she was able to actually phrase it, and I do hope that she will find it soon. Also, I suggest she comes to France, as I've realised (but maybe that's just my taste) that by living in London I had forgotten what a cute guy looked like, and at least here when they're cute, they are also well dressed, clean and shaved, funny and gentlemen. Gosh, why did I ever leave? Oh yeah, probably because the rest of the population is composed of either hotter (and better dressed) biatches, or stupid old 'chavs'...
Anyways, it is now time for me to go to bed, and I'm sure every smart thing I wanted to say in my Treaty on Sexuality will come back to me in my sleep.. hence I'll write it some other time..
many (French) bisous
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