Hey girlies.

I'm choosing today not to be offended that no one has had the time to blog and just write what I was thinking.

The past week or so I've managed to speak to Frenchie and Bam and I was so happy to. And you know what - I've had enough to drink that I want to make my feelings known.

You have NO IDEA how excited I was that I spoke to you. Before I moved I wondered what this first year was going to bring. I spent 3 years with you (all in all I suppose) and I couldn't quite picture my life without you in it on a daily basis. I just had no idea what to expect - and I moved not knowing what life would bring. Well, in all honestly, it's brought nothing exciting yet. I've discovered I have a small passion for decorating and design (not enough for a career lol) and that I will struggle through life not knowing whether I want a career or to be a housewife. I also knew that it would be a test of my friendships, something I've struggled with for 20 odd years nonetheless.

I went out for dinner tonight with my friend A, her boyfriend and some people from his PhD program from Emory University (oh my god - GEEK alert in all capital letters). And I had fun with her and I realised I should be thankful for the friendship I've forged with her. But all the while this week I've also been realising that I'm hoping you guys are thinking of me too because I can't imagine my life without you, near or far. And it's just further proven that months or years may go by where we don't get to speak... but I always want to know how you're doing. I am also always thinking of you, somewhere in the back of my mind. I will always be happy to tell you about the dream last night and will always want to know that you're happy. And if you're not, I will always want you to know that I'm here to drink with you until you know that I'm a shoulder to cry on.

I've had too much to drink, I guess. But I wanted to tell you - I'm so thankful that you exist.

Ok, I'm sappy tonight. I'm sorry. I'll quickly and succinctly try to update you on my life.

I'm still in my crappy not so crappy job. Meaning that in the back of my head I've always known that retail and selling are something I'm very good at but never wanted to have as a career because I know how hard or how meritless or how unposh it is. But I'm good at it. I like being good at something. And at this job, I'm appreciated. Of course I realise it currently doesn't challenge me at all so of course there will be other jobs in my future, but please realise that I haven't changed my job yet because... well, because this still offers me something. I can't put in to words what but I'm fed up of feeling it's below par. It is what it is and it's what I'm doing. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't want to be mediocre at a job I'm not sure I want to do. I know that's all part of learning and growing up but I've done enough in life so far to warrant doing what's required to live only. Now I want something I'll love. I look forward to you lot telling me what that is because I have no bloody clue :D I want to open that bar some day. That's something I'd love.

I've been spending a lot of time with my friend A. She's cool. Different in many ways from all my friends before and in a way, we were put together, the lone 20 somethings in this retail world of mine. But I'm glad I've realised I like spending time with her. Finding friends after London has been a weird world that I'm slowly negotiating. I'm spending time with turtle boy and weird guy from work (L and J) and don't quite know how to put that in to words... they were friends of A's first and, well... they're new people. So that's cool just as it is. We play boardgames. We drink. We crack jokes. Wow. There IS life after London. It's just different.

I bought my first dress ever that I absolutely loved - I trust you've also seen the pictures of my shoes. I soon plan to find a venue or event that warrant wearing them.
Meanwhile, old friends have been taking the time to tell me that they miss me and that's been wonderful. I sometimes need reassuring that I'm a person worthy of being missed.

And sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm only 22 and that there's a big world out there waiting for me. Tonight I am thinking about being 50 and looking back on life and hoping that there are adventures that I wouldn't have any other way.

I'm Alabama Mama. I'm 22 and I live in Atlanta, Georgia. And there's a big world out there that feels cosier because I have great friends and people who think of me when I'm not there. That's kinda cool.

Ok, had two cigs and a big glass of wine. Work tomorrow.

Frenchie - enjoy your birthday weekend. I'm picturing us at your summer house drinking way too much wine and catching up on these past few months. And NEW YORK BABY. April 09 weekends are booked for you.

Bam Bam - I'm proud of you for being on your own. Whatever choices you make, it doesn't define your entire future and I know that eventually you will do what's right for you. Don't rush it. Go with the flow and know that wherever you end up, I love you and will support you.

Divorcee - we haven't spoken for a long time. I've heard you're doing well and I'm so happy for you. You deserve it. One day soon I look forward to a long phone call and a mental hug. Until then, you better be thinking about me bitch.

Love,

AM.