On love, loss and other technicalities of life..

Hey baby,

Well, first of all, mm, how do you address these things? Should I say that I'm sorry for your loss? Is that inappropriate?

Of course, first advice you'd get from me (and thank god Div and AM are so different from me so you'll get a whole range of opposite advice) would be to go get drunk and find a rebound guy to keep your mind off the pain, until there's actually no pain left.

But hey, even I realise it's not the most mature and adult thing to do.. Although it is nonetheless a good way to 'deal' with a problem without dealing with it. Ooooh, I love escaping problems.

If you want my little analysis of the situation, and it’s not going to help, but I’m going to state it as I see it…

I think you loved him because he reflected the image of you you’d want people to see, not the first impression they guess at first glance.
He was the first guy who truly looked past the bambi eyes and boobs and blond locks, and looked for the real girl behind the party girl in you. And when you call him your safety net, I think you couldn’t have found a better expression. He was, indeed, the guy you’d go back to if other attempted relationships (or encounters) failed in London, or if the guys you liked in the UK weren’t ready to get to know the real you. Because in all honesty, you weren’t exactly faithful over the years either. You were accustomed to having him around, always, even if he was in a different country, to reassure you, to tell you that when you drop the mask, you’re still very much (and even more) likable than the bubbly and upbeat personality you show to people you don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong, both these sides of you are very likable indeed, but only one of them is who you really are and the other side of your personality is who you think people will like more. Or not like more, but at least the personality guys will immediately be attracted to. And they are, only I’m pretty sure you’re always afraid that if you start showing the other you, they’ll lose interest.

I guess that’s where the emptiness comes from, and the sadness – besides the fact that you truly did love him.

I’m sorry about the cheap psycho-analysis honey, but what I really wanted to say is that.. I think you're ready to spread your wings baby. You have been for a while. It will take a little time for you to see it and lose the sadness, but I’m sure you’ll recover just fine.
And remember: if he loved you through and through, others will too. Others will see by the boobs and bambi blue eyes and good looks (which are very much likeable too) and look at the very smart and nice and funny girl we know.

Anyways, if you liked my first advice better than my cheap psycho-analysis, you can always come to Paris, get pissed, and I’m pretty sure Ju will be more than happy to serve as your rebound guy...!


Love, always

frenchie